A few months ago, I helped people at a local church sign-up to sponsor children. During the first half of my shift, I got asked a lot of questions.

• Are there any children with a birthday closer to my kid’s birthday?
• Can I write to my child in Spanish, or do I have to write in English?
• Can I send my child a Christmas present, or do I have to just send her money?

I thought many of the questions were trivial. They made me frustrated. I didn’t think people were grasping the big picture that kids are living in poverty and urgently need help.

But as my shift went on, and as I was continually asked these types of questions, I realized the questions weren’t trivial at all.

In fact, these type of questions were the most important questions that can be asked.

Because sponsoring a child is not about setting up an automatic withdrawal. It is about building a relationship. And in a relationship, the small things matter.

In a relationship, birthdays matter. And communication matters. And gifts matter.

For the rest of my shift, I told people how they could have a relationship with a child. And people responded! Over 110 children were sponsored that morning.

But the relational aspect of sponsorship is not just important in getting people to sign-up. It is also important throughout the sponsorship journey, because love is best shown in a relational context.

And love is what our world needs more than money.

Here are five easy ways to build a relationship with your child, and keep sponsorship from becoming something that just shows up on your monthly bank statement:

1. Write letters.
   You can do this online ^[3], or by snail-mail. Tell your child about your life. Be personal, sincere, and informative.

   Steady, two-way conversation is the first step to developing a great relationship.



2. Make special occasions special.
   Make sure you do something special for your child on his or her birthday or Christmas. Compassion makes this really easy, because they remind you when special occasions are coming up, and give you plenty of options for what you can do. Take advantage of these special times to show you care.
3. Pray every day.
   If you pray for your child ^[4] a lot, you will begin to care for him or her more. You will begin to care about whether or not your child had a good day. Or is feeling sad. Or is making good friends.

   Praying for your child will build a desire for a more personal and intimate relationship with him or her.

4. Visit your child.
   I realize that visiting your child ^[5] might not be financially possible. One way to overcome the financial obstacle is to find a short-term mission trip going to a place near your child’s development center, and raise support. Ask your friends and family members to donate money to cover the cost of your trip.

   Compassion may only be able to arrange an afternoon visit with your child, as you will primarily be doing the tasks of the mission trip, but your relationship will be taken to a very real, tangible level.



5. Tell your sponsorship stories.
   When people are important to you, you talk about them.

   Talk about your child with other people, and encourage others to get involved in the sponsorship story. This will make your sponsorship experience come alive and matter in your present life. It will help bridge the gap of distance.

These are a few ideas how to build a relationship with your child. If you can’t do all of these, start with just one, and see what a difference it makes.

Do you have other ideas on how to build a relationship with your sponsored child? I would love for you to share them!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Joshua Lancette is a writer and barista in Madison, WI. You can read his blog ^[6], or follow him on twitter ^[7].