Written by: Edwin Estioko
We arrived half an hour earlier than scheduled and did not expect for our sponsored child to be there. “Edwin!” I heard a staff member howl, and from the tone of her voice I knew right away that our child was already there waiting. She came an hour early. I looked to where the voice came from and there she was, smiling, walking towards me with a card in her hand. I walked to get the card and knelt before her. My wife followed closely behind.
“Are you Shan?” I asked.
She nodded and gave the cutest smile.
My wife approached her and gave her a big hug. We opened her card together and read her carefully written message, “Welcome! I love you Daddy Edwin and Mommy Daisy.”
Later we found out, that every day for a week before we came, Shan has been asking her center director when we would arrive.
After she warmed up a bit and began to communicate freely with us, I asked her a few questions not many sponsors can ask. “Shan, is it OK that we are Filipinos?”
She gave me three big nods.
I asked again, “Is it OK that we live in the same country and that I won’t be showing you pictures of a home in the snow or of a snowman?”
Her dimples on both cheeks and missing front teeth are what make her smile so cute.
“Do you know where we live?” I asked her.
Very quickly she replied, “In Manila.”
Daisy and I were afraid that she would be disappointed to see that her sponsors were not foreigners. We gave her gifts — bags, stickers, dolls, school supplies, shoes and other cuddly stuff, all coming from Manila, Philippines. We were just one hour by plane away from her.
The delight we saw in her eyes and her cute smile that almost got permanently stuck to her lovely face for the entire time we were there proved to us that we were right in deciding to sponsor a child. We were right to decide to commit US $32 a month for Shan.
While US $32 may not be considered big for the average American, it is quite substantial here in the Philippines, even for someone like me whose income is above what the common Filipino worker gets. (In fact, millions of Filipinos earn just around US $32 a month!)
We’re happy to sponsor Shan. We’re happy to see that the way she reacted to us was exactly how other sponsored children react to their foreign sponsors. As a staff member of Compassion in the Philippines I have witnessed dozens of sponsor visits, and I knew that my own sponsor visit with Shan was running “normally,” until I saw where she lives.
My wife and I grew up here in the Philippines. We have never lived in another country and have never enjoyed the comforts of living in a developed country. We know poverty. We have lived with it. So we were not expecting anything out of the ordinary on our way to Shan’s house, which is why I told Daisy to just wait inside the taxi as I delivered the groceries to Shan’s hovel. I knew what was coming my way — congested homes along damp and smelly alleyways with half-naked, drunken men littering the dark corners and mothers washing clothes just beside stagnant sewer lines. I’ve seen them before.
I was carrying two bags of groceries as I negotiated my way through the crowded neighborhood. Then I stopped. I literally felt a thud on my heart and tears began to roll.
I imagined Shan walking and playing through these alleyways. I imagined her running scared away from drunken men. I imagined her playfully skipping over canals filled with green-brownish goo, not knowing how dangerous it is if she falls in. The unpleasantness of the scenario became doubly unpleasant when I realized that this is Shan’s reality.
It’s not the safest place for a child to grow up. Shan’s father was murdered here when Shan was only 2 years old. He was shot in the head in broad daylight.
I was crying when I got to Shan’s tiny home. Her grandmother greeted me, invited me in and offered food. But the taxi was waiting.
As I returned to my wife she was surprised that my eyes were swollen red. I said, “I thought it wouldn’t hit me, but it did; and it hit me hard.”
What happened back there? Why did I cry?
I think I finally understood what sponsorship means. It means loving a child as your own but not being able to physically protect her all the time. And so you resolve to be the best sponsor you can be.
Before the visit, sponsorship for me and my wife was just a nice thing to do, a very nice thing. But now we know we just got us a daughter whom we will love, pray for, support, communicate with, and watch over as she grows (although from a distance).
As the Field Communications Specialist for Compassion in the Philippines, I talk with sponsored children, visit their homes and write stories about them on a regular basis. And now that I am a sponsor of one, it won’t hurt that as I write about a sponsored child I will be thinking about Shan.
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July 11th, 2008 at 6:29 am
Your description makes me so much more aware of how I can pray for our sponsored children! I want to weep with you. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of what our children are experiencing. May Jesus bless you!
July 11th, 2008 at 8:54 am
“But now we know we just got us a daughter whom we will love, pray for, support, communicate with, and watch over as she grows (although from a distance).”
You’ve described some of what I felt, when I met one of my girls 19 months ago. We were not meeting in her community, but in a park filled with Compassion sponsors, their sponsored children and various country and project staff members, so I did not get the full force of her realities, as you did.
However, I saw a child who, after being free to play safely for a while, would go back to a home where I suspected she had been abused, and could well be abused repeatedly. She’s in a very “macho” culture, a young girl with older brothers and an on-again, off-again father, and she looked very sad.
I don’t know, for sure, that she has been physically abused, and I’m not sure I can ask. Nor can I protect her. All I can do is love her, pray for her, encourage her, and pray for her some more.
Thanks so much for sharing so effectively your experience and your love for Shan.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I hate to think of it, but I know my sponsored child probably lives in circumstances much like you’ve described. I wish I could see it. It would become so much more real to me, make me realize just how important our contributions really are…
July 11th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Edwin – Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you cried because you were expressing Christs love and compassion for Shan and her family. It is a life changing experience.
No, $32 per month is not a lot from most of our perspectives but God multiplies it like the bread and fishes.
Gods Blessing to you
Ron
July 11th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Thank you for sharing your story. My heart breaks with you.
July 12th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the reality of what you saw. As I was reading, my thoughts flew to our sponsored daughter and my heart tightened as I realized you might be writing about her situation too. I am reminded that my gifts of prayer are as important as the dollars and the letters.
I love that Compassion continually seeks to share the reality of the work being done among children around the world. Thank you!
July 13th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Edwin,
Thanks for sharing the story about Shan. I know the children are living in such poor conditions, but the Compassion staff is making their lives just a little bit better. I think it is awesome that you sponsor a child in your country. Your story shows how much we take money for granted here in the US.
My girl, Olphine lives in Haiti and I hope to one day visit her. I blogged about her here: http://queenoftheclick.com/?p=150
July 13th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Thanks, Edwin for putting into print what’s has always been in my heart. As Compassion staff for 21 years now, the heaviness in my heart and the tears in my eyes have always been there whenever I see children who seem helpless and hopeless. But thanks be to our sovereign Lord and to Compassion who have always brought hope and help to these children. That explains why I am still with you in this ministry of releasing children from all forms of poverty. Continue writing for us, dear brother.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Edwin,
great story. Great that you are sponsoring Shan. You are blessing to these kids. God bless you.
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
LOVE this post. Thank you for living our your message by sponsoring a child even when it is hard for you to “afford” to.
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:46 am
Wow this is an amazing story! I have been to the Philippines a few times… the average middle class Filipino makes about $500 a month. Giving away $32 dollars is a great sacrifice.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Your story makes us wonder even more about our Philippine “daugher” Jesusa. We do know she lives with her parents and younger brother, and they appear to be a loving family, for which we are thankful. But we can’t help wondering wht their living conditions are like. We feel sad for anyone who has to live in such poverty.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:03 am
How many people in the Philippines sponsor children? Like South Korea at what point does compassion turn the ministry over to the local church? Do they have a goal for the Philippines?
May 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am
@Dwight – I’m still trying to get an answer for your first question. And for your second question, there are really two answers to it.
I’m quoting here, from the person in International Program who answered the question for me.
May 28th, 2009 at 8:56 am
@Dwight I know this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but since I’m still trying to get the answer for you, I’m giving you this as a stalling technique.
As of May 25, 2009, there are 26,594 U.S. sponsorships of children in the Philippines.
And Edwin told me that
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:18 am
@Dwight – Edwin told me that the Philippines country office doesn’t have a way to track the number of Filipinos who sponsor children because the sponsorships aren’t handled by the Philippines office.
Rookie mistake on my part. I knew that.
I’m reaching out to Compassion South Korea to see if they have the information.
June 7th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Thank you for sharing this with us, Edwin. I think ti’s easy to forget the reality that our children go home to. We know they are well cared for in the centres, which are clean and well-kept, but their reality can be much different. I often see pictures of homes of different sponsored children and think of my own children, wondering if their homes are like that, too.
It makes Compassion’s work all that much more important.
June 7th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Edwin,
Thanks for sharing!!!!!!! I am writing this from the Hong Kong Airport and starting to sweat a little, so we must be getting closer to the Philippines! See you in a few hours
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:57 am
@Dwight – Compassion South Korea told me that they don’t have any record of Filipinos sponsoring children, other than the staff members in the Philippines office.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Edwin
Can you answer a question I have about a visit?
I am planning on taking a missions trip to Manila Philippines and thought I might visit my sponsored children. I have the option of visiting the project or having the children travel to the capital city. Traveling to the project will be a difficult trip but if the project staff and others at the church would like to meet a real life sponsor it might be worth the time. If not it would be less work for me to not travel in country but stay in the capital and have them visit. Or just skip the visit. Is it worth visiting the project? Do the project workers come out to see you? Would they like to see a real life sponsor or does it really matter? Do most projects get the chance to have sponsors visit or only ones in Manila and Cebu?
Do you have a cousin in Chicago IL America named Lem? He goes to my church and said he had a cousin that worked for comparison named Edwin
Sorry the list is so long. Thanks for your advice
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Hello Dwight,
I’m delighted to know that you’re coming to visit your sponsored children. It will be a blast, for sure. To respond to your questions better, I would need or (Compassion US would need) to ask the most appropriate people to give you tips and advice regarding your visit. They can help you best.
Yes Lem is my cousin. He was here last year to do missionary work. Say Hi to him for me. Thanks