Written by: Becky Tschamler
The topic of letter-writing always sparks lively discussions. It even seems to spontaneously come up in posts on other topics.
So seeing as we genuinely value your input (and OK … I admit … in an attempt to stimulate a discussion), I hereby pose the following question to you:
Would you rather receive more general letters from your sponsored child more often or more detailed letters on a less frequent basis?
Discuss.
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November 12th, 2009 at 8:19 am
More detailed letters on a less frequent basis. I love knowing how they are doing, what is on their heart, how I can pray for them, and what is meaningful to them!
November 12th, 2009 at 8:28 am
I think we should have access to the facebook page for our childs project. Even if we do not have access to the child they could post photos and prayer needs. The project I sponsor at has a facebook account but compassion does not want us to have access. I would like to have more informaiton about the project faster and a few good letters from the child 3 times a year.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Wow. Hard one… Can we say both?
Anyway, if I had to pick one or the other, I would say that I would rather receive the less frequent, more meaningfull letters. (Though “meaningfull” really needs to be defined more to make a clear decision.)
However, if there were a way to get both….
November 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
I think it depends on what you mean by a less frequent basis. If it is less than 3 times a year, even if it is detailed, I think I would be disappointed. That being said, I would prefer more detailed letters, but I think that may be a lot to expect from some kids. Also, if they might “hold” our letters to answer at a time when they can go into more detail, it is likely to be too much for the child if their sponsor writes even 1-2 times a month. I would hate it to be stressful for them to try to answer things. It might also curb the child’s spontaneity as they sit and decide for themselves what is important to them to share. Don’t get me wrong – I love to get answers to questions, but it is great to see a child’s own spark as they choose a subject and go with it.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Hmm. I love getting letters from my kiddos, but I think I would choose more detailed letters less frequently. I got a letter from my little girl Susan in Kenya a few months ago that was personal and detailed, and it just made my heart melt. Last winter I had built a snowman and taken a picture to send to my kiddos. In this letter, the tutor who helped her write it told me about how happy Susan was with that picture, and how she had proudly shown it off to all of her friends.
The details in that letter really helped me to get to know Susan’s personality a little better, and made her more “real” in my mind. So I would love to have more of that kind of letter less frequently, than more frequent “Hi, how are you, I am fine, thanks for sponsoring me, God bless you, bye!” letters.
November 12th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Ooh, that’s a hard one. It’s kind of hard to get more personal letters at intervals b/c you can’t develop a deep relationship, but if you are just getting form letters more often, you aren’t developing much of a relationship, either. Hmm, I guess I would have to say personal letters less often b/c that’s what I’ve been getting from my Mateo in Colombia and even though I don’t hear from him often, I learn a lot when I do. But, I will say, with my new Thai girl, Nid, I hear from her very often and they are personal, heartfelt letters, and they are absolutely the best!
November 12th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Less frequent that 3 times a year? No thanks.
What I’d really like to see is more photos… nothing professional… just an amateur snapshot of my sponsored child engaged in project activities with each letter.
November 12th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I would prefer less frequent with more details.
However, more frequent with more details is even better. Two of the children I sponsor are teens. They are on the reciprocal system and both write wonderful letters. I hear from them every 1-2 months. I am trying to write monthly but it seems like it is more like 2 months before I take the time. I need to be better about that.
I would be hesitant to connect with the center using facebook because personal info like you address, phone number, and email address might be on your account depending on what you posted. I am very cautious about data privacy issues. I only friend people I know and would want to get together with.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I feel more connected to the ones I hear from frequently. I have some that I hear from much less often and those letters tend to be less specific. I don’t think you have to choose. My newest one is from Togo and I hear the most detailed information from her and she writes the most often.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I would like to see much more detailed letters and I would be okay with less frequent.
Is there anyway to redesign the letter forms so there could be some pre-printed prompts for the kids — Some writing prompts that could give them ideas of things to share?
For example, “My favorite thing about my town is…” “My best quality is…” “What I like most about my Compassion project is…”
Age-appropriate questions they could answer that would give more of an insight into them as a person.
I think in child letters we tend to get a lot of — I’m fine. I hope you’re fine. School is fine. My family is fine.
Kids are such fascinating little people — I’d like to see that come through more in their letters.
I know the letter-writing process isn’t designed soley to make ME happy — as sponsors it is our job to encourage our sponsored children in their lives.
But I think letters are a good vehicle for a child to express his or her own unique personality, thoughts, wants, needs — and I think with some prompting we can better help the children express themselves in these letters.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I think I would want both! But, since that might not work out, I like the idea of being able to visit a website featuring my sponsored child’s project site so I know what is going on there, while receiving lots of general letters through out the year.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:44 am
I would like them to answer questions in my letters. Sometimes you can’t ever tell they received your letter at all! Others are great at responding. So it’s a project to project thing that needs to be more standardized across the Compassion program.
I also appreciate letters that respond to gifts we send – BD, family gift, etc. My Tanzania child’s project is fantastic in that they send a photo of what the family got with the gift. I love that!
November 12th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I’m with Bob on his last statement. I would love to get a snap shot of any of my kids just living life (If someone could get a shot of Alok playing soccer, I might cry!). And also, less that 3-4 times a year…not appetizing. I have 3 kids in 3 countries. I get roughly 2 letters a year from India with little to no details. 4 a year from Haiti with 6 pages of details. And I just started in Ghana, and have already received a detailed letter. If I got to choose the ideal, I’d choose a reciprocal detailed letter system. But if I have to choose between often and details, then I’d chose details, so long as it does drop below 3-4 a year. Waiting for those letters nearly kills me as it is. It is really hard to have a relationship with my 2 a year kid.(Maybe when he gets older)
November 12th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I meant does not drop below 3-4 letters a year, not does!
November 12th, 2009 at 11:23 am
I receive varying number and depth of letters from my sponsored kids. One of my boys in Uganda, only writes me 3 times a year, but he writes in English, and always is so detailed. I love letters from him. I have other kids who write to me every month (reciprical system) and their letters are less detailed but still personal. I also have a couple of kids who only write 3 a year and their letters are more form like.
With the younger children I feel like the pictures make up for the lack of detail. I enjoy seeing what they pick to draw and watching their art improve over the years. I have to agree with bob that one of the best things to receive in a letter is a photo. While it may not be possible for all churches to take photos for every child, every letter, I would love to receive more photos.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I would be happy with 1 or 2 really personal, “deeper” letters per year in addition to more frequent, “lighter” letters.
So many factors involved, I know. The age of the child, how much help they need writing their letter, etc. It’s always great to hear how they are doing and it’s very touching as the long-term relationship begins to develop.
November 12th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Just to clear up any misunderstanding, we are not planning on, nor have we ever considered, sending less than three letters a year from your child.
Really the intent of this post was to try to get a better understanding of what matters to you.
November 12th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I love anything I get from my kids. Of course the more detail the better.
I wonder what our kids would say about what they want in our letters…
November 12th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Last month I visited 2 of the children and families I sponsor. I was told by the project director that compassion does not allow them to be to honest and detailed in the letters because the truth might look like they are asking for more money. I have friends that would be offended by the truth.
Unfortunately after my first sponsor tour in 2006 I bought into compassions marketing. In many ways I wish I was still ignorant of the truth. Before that time we like most families wrote 2 or 3 times a year and sent very general letters so we can say that we sent them. Seeing the truth and only being able to do so little is very difficult. As I talked to kids in the project most did not seam very connected to the sponsors. My letters did not start to get detailed until after my first visit. I just was not a real person to them. I am fortunate I work for a Christian ministry and have been blessed with the ability to travel to Asia.
November 12th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
It’s hard to choose. I love the detail in his letters (he’s only 6 so we don’t get much yet!) but it’s kind of hard for my boys to help build the relationship when we only get three letters a year. So for the sake of my kids (who are still young, too: 6, 4, and 2) and their continued commitment to the program, I’d say that more often would be beneficial!
November 12th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I have enjoyed all the comments from you guys and ladies. As the Partner Training and Support Manager in Compassion International Ghana office, your comments are great lessons to guide me in the desingn and training of the Child Development Workers in how to guide the kids to write and communicate compassinate letters to you. I believe the letters should actually engage you and develop relatioship. So we will train the workers to help the children to engage you with their letters. I can tell you that you encouragement and belief in the kids are really making them. SOMETIMES THE LITTLE DIFFICULTY we have is that because most of our children are not native English speakers and in most of the public schools these attend are expected to use the lacal language as meduim instruction and impede their ability to write at the tender age. But all said and done we will do our best because we appreciate the Godly heart and love you are showing our kids.Thank you all out there for what you are doing with the kids. God bless you all.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I would like more details but I think sometimes the personality of the writer determines what is written. The idea of prompts is a great one! And getting a picture or two a year would be absolutely awesome!
November 12th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
The letters I get almost always say basically the same thing, sometimes with more detail. I love getting the letters because there are always pictures they’ve drawn. I started scrapbooking their letters/pics. So they are in one place. My last child, who is no longer in the program, asked me why I didn’t write to him more. Talk about guilt!!! So, now I try to write more and I get answers back more often. So writing to them is important to them. I can’t tell you how many times we went into a student’s house and the first thing they did was bring out their sponsor’s letters. They SAVE them!! They were so proud and excited that those people were supporting them and praying for them and helping them get through life a little easier. So, those who aren’t writing, start now. Your child will cherish your letters.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Do those have to be the only options?
My kids in Uganda write much more frequently than my others, and their letters are always more detailed. I’ve had them the least amount of time (not even two years yet) and know more about them, their families, their daily lives, their struggles, their dreams than any of my other kids, who write three times a year like clockwork, even though I’ve had them a number of years.
That said, I’m always happy to get any letter from my child, no matter how general or detailed, although of course the more details the better I feel I know them, the better I can pray for them, the more I’m naturally inclined to write to them.
One thing I think would be wonderful in helping us understand our child’s daily life better without putting too much upon the child and without adding a tremendous amount of work or cost for the staff is if each project just had a simple webpage that described their activities. If the projects could post just every now and then, maybe two or three times a year, that in and of itself would be wonderful and would help us connect with our kids and give us more to write about. For example, if someone from the project wrote a simple account of a special holiday celebration they had at the project, what they did, maybe posted a couple pictures from it… or if they just posted “A Day in the Life of Your Compassion Child” specific to their project. “Our preschoolers come every day, and our school-age children come on Saturdays from 8-5. First we sing and have a Bible story, then we do an art project, then we have lunch, etc.” As it is, most of us actually have no idea what our kids are doing at the project, and I’ve never in all these years been able to get a kid to tell me anything above and beyond “we learn about God.”
Projects could also use the space to post any needs they have, that sponsors could pray about. The privacy of the children and the projects could be preserved by only allowing access through logging in to your account on compassion’s website, and only being allowed to access those projects where you have sponsored children attending.
I would rather have that — some kind of information from the project staff — than trying to push the kids to write more than they are already able to do.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
less frequent (if it must be), more details!
November 12th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Wow! I love the idea of more photos! I have only gotten them from one child in response to gifts. It was nice to see what she had purchased, but I would love some candids of all my kids and the projects. (If anyone wants to foot the cost, I’d love to visit projects, take thousands of picture,s and put them on slideshows! ; ) Wishful thinking . . . .) Could projects endeavor to put together video or slideshows to post on ourcompassion? Maybe of Christmas festivities, special traditions, daily activities, or even some kids with messages?
As it was mentioned above, it is interesting to wonder what the kids honestly think of our letters and what they want to hear. . . . Maybe Emmnanuel Nyarko-Tetteh has some insight for us? I really want to build a relationship with our kids that is honest and caring in both directions.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Sara F.
I asked this question last month when I was at one of the projects. From what they said Compassion does not want this type of communication. They have a face book page… but Compassion does not want this type of communication. The probem is not the projects its the USA side of compassion.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I agree, if possible, an updated photo at least once a year. Not professional, just a snapshot would be great! My adopted son is too young to write on his own so I know time will change this. But when he sent drawings, you can tell an adult did it. I really rather not have it if the child didn’t really do it. I will love them without it! Also agree with the person who mentioned prompts to help us get to know them/their likes, etc. Compassion does a wonderful job!
November 12th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Frequent letters, whether general or detailed. Three – 4 times a year is not enough – please don’t take away the reciprocal writing program or at least have the children write 6-8 times a year. I just want to hear from them as often as I can.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I receive so many letters it doesn’t matter to me. The letters I receive are so encouraging to me b/c I share things I geniunely want to take place in my life and they pray for them to happen. I can’t get much more detailed than that. One time I got a letter that was the first one my sponsor child had written b/c he told me his dad cut his hand and couldn’t write. I don’t want letters I want to go visit and wow them and myself be wowed by meeting them and fulfilling some promises I made. I am 2 for 2 on visiting I just need to get 5 for 5 in the next few years. I tend to think the letters you receive on par with the detail you put in your letters. So if you want more detail from your sponsor child start with your letters and theirs will follow it works for me.
But back to the question I would like both. Meaning a detailed letter often
But I am thankful to get any.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
After reading some of the comments I can see how a visit would be worth a thousand personal letters. And I bet the same is true from their end as well. In a visit you get to see “beliefs”, hopes, personality, character and I think somehow it kind of lights a fire under you to go visit again. You realize what a difference you are making and can make and shoot “Awesome God” is my favorite song and Rich Mullins loved Compassion so I figure I’ll follow in his footsteps a little.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I would want less frequent, more details. But really, I like any letter I get from my children
November 12th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I absolutely LOVE the idea of having the projects post news and information through a secure channel. It would be wonderful (and enlightening!) to learn about the project activities from an adult. Could we even ask questions of the staff? Knowing more about the projects will strengthen ties between the children and the sponsors which in turn will strengthen the ministry of Compassion as a whole. I’ll be praying that this happens!
November 12th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
I am with Prairie Rose. I love getting every letter from my children. They are very important to me.
I like the idea if there was more information available and pictures of each project. It would be neat if they created some sort of template, where the project could upload pictures and maybe video and us sponsors could be up to date on the project.
It would also be great if there was a thing like a telegram or something that could get a question answered quickly. Right now, there is field memo that can go out, but I get the feeling that they require quite a bit of work and they also take quite a bit of time to get the answer. For instance one of my children needs an operation. She might have gotten it already. It would be great if there was a way that a one or two questions could be submitted, they could get approved by Compassion and then forwarded to the country office, where they would maybe call or email the project and have an answer back in a week or so.
But going back to the question about less letters with more details or more letters that are more general. The question itself is a bit general. Maybe the project could do a general letter twice a year that could be included…. I don’t know. When I think of the child sponsorship, I think of discipleship. With the countries where they are on the reciprical system, this discipleship and the relationship with the children is so much deeper and full of meaning than with the children of the countries where it isn’t. There is no comparrison.
So, when the child gets to write more often, they tend to start writing more specifically. So, they are really directly related. So, if you reduce one, you would reduce the other. That’s why this question is a difficult question for me. Because no matter, which one I pick, I feel like I’m sacrificing both.
Blessings,
Kees
November 12th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
@Dwight
I think Compassion is trying to protect both the sponsor and the child in this process. It’s an important thing, because culturally, there are a lot of differences and there could be a lot of misunderstandings. The project could ask for money from the sponsor or the sponsor could ask for something not appropriate from the child. Basically, you’d open up a huge can of potential problems. Having said that, I think that Compassion is revisiting this whole concept, because the Internet is forcing them to deal with it in another way.
It is happening more and more frequently that sponsors are getting emails from their sponsored children. The internet is bringing everybody together more and more.
I’m curious to see how they will solve this, while at the same time keep the security of both the sponsors and the children.
Kees
November 13th, 2009 at 1:38 am
lol, Sara F. I had the same thought about just rallying a bunch of sponsors who wanted pictures of their kid in one country, and then going over for like 6 months and finding each kid to take a bunch of pictures for each sponsor. And then I realized…if they were going to fund someone to take pictures, they’d fund someone who had a better camera then my little digital cannon, and maybe had a little photography training…and I can’t really leave the country for 6months at this time in my life anyway… but it was a fun dream. Maybe yours will work out better! (Better yet, maybe I can come on your trip, and carry your camera bag while you take good pictures…I’ll write a 1000 word essay on each kid, and then we’ll ship pictures and essays stateside…sigh the daydreaming begins again!)
November 13th, 2009 at 4:13 am
I hear from my children in the Philippines very often and their letters are detailed. Of course, being able to write in English probably influences this. I’d love more letters – I don’t have the patience to wait months on end for a letter and it is very difficult to develop a relationship if we only hear from the kids 3 times a year. What I’d really like is a detailed letter about the project and local community at least once a year.
Geri
November 13th, 2009 at 8:01 am
More detailed letters less often would be nice, but I’m happy to get anything from the children we sponsor.
One thing I would like to see is maybe some example letters from sponsors to children. I struggle with what to say in my letters to our children and would love to see some that others have written that Compassion things are good examples.
November 13th, 2009 at 10:37 am
I find it interesting that most folks want more details, and less frequently. I am of the exact opposite opinion. I think I will have a stronger connection if I just hear from her more often, and if I write to her more often. While I would love to know details about her life, just the simple act of holding the piece of paper in my hand, knowing she was thinking of me, brings about connection, and a stronger bond. I think more frequently is the way to go.
November 13th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I agree, Teresa. While I love every letter we get, it’s difficult to build a relationship (and ask detailed questions that show that I know about his life) when I only get three letters a year. And like I said before, I think more frequent communication would help my boys develop a bond with our sponsored child.
I would LOVE to visit someday, too.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I agree with Geri, It is very difficult to develop a relationship when the letters are infrequent AND very form-like. I know from my own reaction that the more I hear from the children and the more details I know the more involved I feel and the more I want to write. Some of the letters that just say, “I am fine. My family is fine. Pray for me, I pray for you…..just leave me feeling a little less than connected to them.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Yes, actually as I think about it, I would agree with Teressa, if I had to make a choice. The reason being is that the children will write a lot more details, if they wrote more often.
I would think that limiting the letters could really hurt the child/sponsor relationship in many ways. Just the fact that these are such lively discussions show the importance of the letters not just for the children, but also for the sponsors.
It is also the relationship between the sponsor and the child that has also a huge multiplicative affect.
This is what in many ways causes more people to become advocates, to visit their children to encourage their children. If you listen to the testimony of Michelle Tolentino as an example, you’ll hear how the letters impacted her.
So, in other words limiting that is really hurting the chicken that lays the golden egg.
I think of what Dr. Wess Stafford says: “If there is a choice between the letter and the check, send the check.” I always tell new sponsors that it takes three things to sponsor a child and that they are in that order. 1. Prayer, 2. Letter writing, 3. The funding part of $38. Then I always tell people that the order is very important here. In other words, I really don’t want sponsors that just do the funding, unless they are going to request a correspondent.
So, if the frequency of letters to the sponsor were reduced, this would result in a reduction of the frequency of letters to the child too… This all would also reduce the details in the letters. These details come from the love the child has for the sponsor. So, overall, it would hurt the whole sponsorship program.
Kees
November 13th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Kees, I am curious about your comment about the children getting their sponsors e-mails. How is that happening? I sponsor a child with another organization and at one time had a friend who was visiting the country take a gift. Somehow a relative of this child obtained my e-mail and then I was requested to fund a university education for an older sibling in the family. It put a burden on my heart because, of course, I would like to help but could not. It was extremely uncomfortable. I absolutely understand the strict rules of no personal contact other than through Compassion. I did say I could not and never heard from them again but it was not a comfortable position to be in. Are e-mails being exchanged on sponsor tours? How are the children getting access to them? Thanks
November 13th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Hi Kees
I am responding to the post from 11/12
I understand your perspective on emails. I would not give out my email… but if the project had a blog or a face book account they could post things and not reply directly to anyone. If they want to ask for money…I can say no. I am asked for money all the time by churches in the Philippines. I have been on 3 mission trips to the Philippines and enjoy them. But I start to worry about the policies of compassion and potentially working with a compassion church in the Philippines from the same denomination. I work for a Christian ministry so maybe I’m a little different but I want to comply with compassion but still help missionaries and churches in the Philippines. On my last visit one of the compassion churches I visited, the church asked if I could come on a trip to help the local community. I said maybe…do I drop my child and then help. But that would create a strange situation if I end up still involved with the church. When my kids graduate from compassion I probably will not sponsor more because of this but I do feel an obligation to help them until graduating but I also want to help churches in the Philippines. If they had a public face book account any connections with the project will be public. If it is public it is less likely to be inappropriate.
November 13th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Hi, Barbara,
What I meant there is that a child might “google” his or her sponsor and find the contact information of the sponsor. Of course that would depend a lot on the sponsor, how public they are on the Internet.
One child found my email address and emailed me. I was glad to get the email, but I wrote her back, saying that she was very important to me, but that Compassion doesn’t allow us to write this way, so I didn’t want anything to jeopordize that relationship and that we couldn’t email this way, but that as soon as she graduates from the program that we will email each other all the time! It was a difficult email to write, because these children are so important to me. Having said that, I was sure to really affirm her in the email too.
Also, during a child visit, the sponsor and the child are not allowed to exchange contact information. That’s one of the guidelines.
Kees
November 13th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Hi Kees, Thank you for your quick response. I always appreciate that about you! It is most certainly a different age we now live in with all of this internet access. In some ways good, in other ways not so good. I can imagine how difficult it was for you to send that e-mail and yet it was surely the right thing to do. I also appreciate how sensitive you were to the child to let him or her know you were not rejecting them but only following Compassion’s guidelines. Thanks again for writing.
November 13th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Hey everyone. I want to weigh in on the conversation about our communication polices and guidelines.
I work on the International Communications team, and I see a different side of the communications process than if I were in your shoes solely. However, I do sponsor two children – one in Haiti and one in Honduras – and I wholeheartedly agree that we have opportunities to improve the communication process with our children. And I can safely say that Compassion as an organization wants that for us too.
Compassion absolutely wants to provide sponsors an open and swift communication channel with their children. We want sponsors to be able to communicate more directly and more efficiently. And we are committed to finding ways to make this happen.
However, there’s a lot involved with creating this open channel. It seems pretty straightforward – just make it happen, change the rules, use the technology that’s out there – but it’s so much more than that because there are also child protection issues that have to be considered.
Compassion is committed to improving the child communication process, but we also are committed to safe sponsor-child interaction and correspondence.
To help you understand the many issues that we have to grapple with, I plan to write a blog post on the subject soon.
And just so you know, your comments aren’t getting sucked into a black hole. The “movers and shakers,” the people who can influence the change around here, are reading them.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Last weekend I sat down and read all of my letters from each of our 5 sponsored children. I made notes for each child of what I learned from this accumulated correspondence. It was a very enlightening thing to do as it provided a much better understanding of each child and how they are unique individuals.
But it also highlighted just how different in content levels the letters from the different projects (countries) are. We have sponsored each of these children for a minimum of 4 years (some as many as 10). Our child from Indonesia has written us a number of times but her letters tell us nothing about her and only once in all of these years have we been told what she received for the birthday, general, family, and Christmas gifts (so that makes once out of 13+ gifts). In letters from our other sponsored children we get the exact breakdown of each penny that they receive and every item they buy and one of our children’s countries always includes a photo. Obviously it is a lot harder to feel a connection when there is so little information provided in the years of correspondence.
If not for the understanding we have of how our gifts are used from our other children I could see that it would be easy to stop sending gifts as we hardly know that the child in Indonesia even receives them.
I just returned from visiting our child in El Salvador and one of the things that was frustrating to me as I prepared for this trip is how little I knew about Bernardo. I read all of the letters from 8 years of sponsorship and came away not knowing how many brothers and sisters he has which made it impossible for me to take small gifts for his siblings. Meeting Bernardo has created a strong commitment from me to write all of our sponsored children more frequently and I hope that my increased communication will spark that in my sponsored children as well. The web form on the Compassion web site makes that so easy and is something that should be promoted heavily especially through the various social networking sites that Compassion sponsors use.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Let me correct myself. I just checked again the letters from our child in Indonesia. Over 4 years we have sponsored her she has mentioned 4 of the 13+ gifts that we have given for her and only the most recent one was the amount and what she was going to get with the money mentioned and perhaps this last note is an indication in a change in how this is being handled.
November 14th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Win, I very much agree with your statement, “Obviously it is a lot harder to feel a connection when there is so little information provided in the years of correspondence.” I understand it takes time for all of this, but years later not really knowing that much about our children really makes it a bit difficult. I’m a rather boring person actually and don’t always have alot to write about. When I have little input from them I find myself really struggling to come up with something new month after month. If these were new relationships it would make more sense but after a lot of time has passed……….
November 15th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I have only received one letter from my sponsored child and it was broken down into facts about her. I found out what her favorite color is, her favorite food, the names and ages of her family members and best friends. She asked me two questions that she wanted answered and told me that she would send a picture of her baby brother in her next letter. I make Michell a card every month and write her via email randomly. I have emailed her from work and told her that I was at work and was thinking about her so I thought I would write. I also write her on my travels so that she knows she is thought of.
November 17th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I love getting the letters from my children no matter how short/long they are because most of my children draw absolutely beautiful pictures that are sent with the letters. Some of my children are VERY talented.
Would I like more detail in the letters my kids send? Absolutely, I would. But having read about how different cultures perceive the sharing of personal information, I know that writing in more detail might make my children uncomfortable. I’d rather receive more general letters and their beautiful pictures than make them feel uncomfortable about writing.
Some of my children are voracious writers which I love and their letters get more detailed. I actually find that the more they write, the more detailed they start to become and it’s wonderful.
I, too, would love to see a place where we could access a website/page for the project. Perhaps not a Facebook page as that does open up a lot of safety issues with contact information and such, but perhaps something on the Compassion website itself? Something you could access when logged into your account just like you can access the general information on your sponsored children, maybe the information on the project could be accessed that way. Or something on “Our Compassion” that would be similar. But it would be wonderful to be able to hear news about the projects and perhaps see pictures of the children interacting with each other.
But only if it can be done in a way that can protect the children’s privacy. While I am concerned with my own privacy online, I have a pretty solid online presence thanks to Facebook and such so I’d be more concerned with the child’s privacy and protecting them.
Since I have several children I sponsor plus a couple of correspondence children, I get letters pretty regularly so it’s always exciting to go home and see if any came in the mail today.
I received one just yesterday. 
They make me so happy to receive them. 
November 18th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I’m actually having a hard time with this right now… I get the minimum three letters a year, written on approximately the 20th day of January, May, and September. My little girl’s tutor writes for her, but it consists of one paragraph full of information. I love getting the rundown of her school activities and how she did during her doctor’s visit and such…. but on the other hand it is such a letdown because it takes minutes to read the entire paragraph…. when I waited four months between letters to hear from her!
I blame it on the “official” Honduras child stationary…. where there is a cutoff for what her tutor writes and then space to be translated at the bottom and with the back of the page for coloring. It makes me wonder how much more I’d get to learn about her if it was written on plain white paper….
But what really bothers me (and which I’ve mentioned in other posts … sorry!) is that I’ve sent monetary gifts and haven’t heard anything back yet. I sent the first $25 back on May 5th and because Ludis didn’t receive it before she wrote on May 20th I had to wait until she wrote in the end of September. I have still not received that letter…. and this makes it going on 7 months. And now I’m actually afraid (after reading some other sponsor posts) that she… or her project… won’t let me know what she got with the money! I think that will kill me…. (only slightly kidding) In addition…. I sent her birthday money and a family gift in September, and I likely will have to wait until Spring to hear about it….
So my main idea is that when gifts are given, at least, that the three letters a year rule is bent and an extra letter (even if it is really small) be sent to say what was bought. Because I am not only curious, but I wanted to help her and her family out and I’d like to know that they are being helped and how, you know?
And I hate to sound ungrateful… because I am really happy to get the three letters at least and I’m glad Compassion has let me have the opportunity to be a sponsor….but it is very hard to run to the mailbox every day hoping to hear from her and not get anything.
I also agree that it would be WONDERFUL to have a project blog or something that we can go to and maybe see candid shots of the kids and get updates from the adults on what all they do during the day and during holidays and such. A digital camera would make posting pics free and easy versus sending more paper photographs. Not Facebook…. but like someone said: a link through Compassion where you log in privately with your username/password.
Oh, and I vote on the more frequent letters. Definitely. But I bet that was evident….
November 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
More detailed!!! I have two kids that I sponsor, and two more correspondent kids. For the most part, the letters are very generic.
I try hard to model to them what I want in return. I try hard to write one detailed letter at least every month about what our family has been up to — details about our vacation to the NC coast, what the kids are doing in school and at church etc. I normally type this one and send it to all four kids. I try to respond to each letter the kids send me individually, and connect with those details, often via email to make it faster.
I would love love LOVE more pictures. I wonder too if it is cultural that it takes the kids a while to open up in their letters?
November 20th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I was wondering if it would be alright, since it is hard to get detailed answers ~or even answers!!~ to my questions, if I could type out a list of questions, print them out and send them to my girl for her to answer on that sheet and send back the same sheet to me?
Questions like they suggest they ask…… but that I don’t get a clear answer to:
Who all lives with you? (so I can send extra stickers, coloring pages, etc. for sibs)
Do you have any pets?
What are you doing in school? (like addition, subtraction, science, etc. so I can send flashcards and supplemental activities)
Things like that. I wonder if I actually wrote them down in a list and asked her to answer them on the same sheet of paper…. if she would answer at least SOME of them???
November 21st, 2009 at 4:20 am
This is such a tough question to answer. I am like you…I LOVE LOVE getting letters from my little girl I sponsor in Uganda. In fact, I just got one on my Birthday and it made my day!
Since she is only 5 it is the typical form letter with a tutor helping her but this one was different. This last letter actually took the time to answer some of my questions and acknowledge my family. That meant the world to me. The center staff always tells me what her gift money is spent on and I appreciate that as well. I would love more details and I am sure I will get more as she gets older.
I am getting better about writing her this year (I have sponsored her for almost 2 years) as I find myself thinking more and more about her. I am happy to hear when she gets all my stickers and color pages and the likes. But I would love more details even for the little ones…the prompts are a good idea!
And of course…we would ALL love more photos. I carry mine around with me all the time…it is a good conversation starter about Compassion. It has gotten a couple of co-workers to sponsor children. Two of us just went on a trip and the entire time looked for things we could send our little girls in our next letters.
Can’t wait to get another envelope in my mail that says a letter from your sponsored child!!! I run into my house and curl up to read them right away!!