Comments on: Should I Visit My Sponsored Child?

By: Ken M.

Ken M. — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:36:31 +0000

I have to admit that my children who are the ages of 8, 9 and 10 were shy when I was first introduced to them. In fact, my 10 year old child cried for about 15 minutes due to being overwhelmed with meeting me and my other sponsored children along with the excitement of being around other sponsors and their children. Over the day all of my children were fine and we had fun.
My 10 year old child needed space throughout the day so he would hang with my group and then leave to do his own thing. Eventually he would join us again. I allowed him to do that since I felt that was how he needed to handle the excitement. He still had a good day. After boarding the bus when the day ended, he got off the bus to give me an extra hug.
My 13 year old child never seemed overwhelmed. He had a big smile on his face the whole day. His expression seemed to say “this is cool”.
I am still glad that I went to see all 5 of my children even though four of them are 10 years old or younger.

By: Kees Boer

Kees Boer — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:17:54 +0000

If at all possible, I think it would be best to get to know the children first through correspondence. Also, it could save a lot of money to go on an individual visit verses a sponsor tour. There is also a bigger opportunity to get to see the child’s project and home on an individual visit. One time, I accompanied someone on an individual visit. The child was very cold, but the family was very warm.

Also, realize that a lot of the “coldness” of a child is many times that they are just really shy with the sponsor. They might feel very overwhelmed. It is sort of like us, if we got a visit from a huge movie star/athelete/big politician. We might not know what to say.

Kees

By: Marvin

Marvin — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:54:19 +0000

I can only say what I saw on my 2 trips. Some of the sponsors of younger child had a very hard time becuse the child was very cold. Some with younger children did ok but some of the kids never responded to the sponsor. And it was very hard for them. They spent $3,500 on a trip and had no conection at all. If you only have the money to go once in your life I would wait.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:30:27 +0000

Caitlin – I think it’s still possible to surprise your kids. It is true that you need to arrange visits in advance, and the country and project staff will know you are coming, but not necessarily the children. A friend of mine visited her childrens’ centers, and none of the girls knew she was coming until they saw her there.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 20:46:29 +0000

Rachel R.,
I completely agree with Carolyn. I visited my sponsored child when she was only four. The email for the opportunity to go on a sponsor tour was only a few months after I started sponsoring her. It is easy to think of reasons why we can’t go, but I’ve come to the conclusion that you go when God tells/leads you to go. I also don’t think any trip would be wasted. I learned so much on my trip, about poverty and the importance of letter writing. I would be a completely different sponsor if I had not gone.

By: Ken M.

Ken M. — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:21:09 +0000

I visited my 5 sponsored children in Brazil this past October. The youngest is 6. Due to my youngest child being sick on the day that we met our sponsored children, I was able to spend the next day with him at a project. I had no problems. He knew who I was and knew that I was at the project to see him. His mother had already reinforced that I was his sponsor and I had sent him pictures of me before going to Brazil. He probably doesn’t have the same understanding of sponsorship as my 13 year old child but it didn’t stop us from having a great time. Since we had one on one time it made things easier for the both of us. I didn’t have to share the day with him and my 4 older children. He liked the attention and I enjoyed giving him the attention.

By: Carolyn Cooper

Carolyn Cooper — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:30:10 +0000

Caitlin..
I hope with all my heart that you will be able to visit your sponsored child in Haiti one day. If you do you will be seeing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. What you won´t be able to do, is surprise her. As Grace Poole from the Colorado office has stated in other places on this blog, visits need to be arranged in advance, and the child will know that you are coming and be anticipating your visit.
For MARVIN..
I am writing this from the Dominican Republic, where I am visiting my 3 sponsored girls, ages 11, 11, and 8 respectively.
I have been visiting them ALL since I began sponsoring them at age 3. Since I began these sponsorships, both parents of one girl have died of AIDS. The only photos she has of her parents were taken by me and put in an album before they became sick. What if I had waited to visit her until she was 8 years old…She would not have these photos that are so precious to her.
Another one of the girls, the 8 year old, will be immigrating to the USA this month. If I had waited until she was 8 to visit her, we would never have met face to face.
My conclusion is GO WHEN YOU CAN regardless of the age of the child. God will bless you in ways that you can neithe imagine or anticipate.
As far as waiting for the child to ask for a visit—of course you should not wait, as they may never ask, thinking that it is not possible.
FELIZ ANO NUEVO from the Dominican Republic and may each and every one of you who wish to meet your child face to face in 2010 have this wish granted by our gracious LORD.
Here in the Dominican Republic there is a saying—Don´t tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big GOD is….

By: Kees Boer

Kees Boer — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 04:56:43 +0000

I’ve done about 50 childvisits. I’ve not found 8 years old a problem, but younger than that, at times, it was a challenge. I remember visiting a 7 year old girl in the DR. She cried the whole time. I don’t think she understood it. But then I’ve visited other 7 year olds in the past and it went very smooth and the child was very thankful. I think it depends a lot on how well your relationship is with the child and whether the country is on the reciprocal system with letters, so that the relationship can grow a lot faster than with the 3 letters/year.

Kees

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:08:28 +0000

I haven’t visited any of my kids yet, but I agree with Marvin just from my experience with kids in general. I have 3 sponsored kids 11, 8, and 6, and I’ve determined to wait until the younger two are at least ten (though I like the idea of 11-12 more) before trying to visit. I have heard from other sponsors that they have had a wonderful time visiting their younger kids, but I’ve also heard tell of visiting younger kids who flee in shyness (as might be expected of any younger child meeting a very distant relative).
I just thought I’d add something that sort of runs along this line of thought, but is also a bit of a tangent. I’ve been sponsoring my Liline in Haiti for about a year. At first she was very shy about coming anywhere near the mention of a visit, and the tone left me to think she felt she was undeserving of a visit. A few months ago, I think she finally decided to believe me when I said that she was special to me. It then went from not mentioning a visit, to casual mentions of “If you should ever visit me, then we would….” to her most recent letter that said, “I hope someday you will visit Haiti. What are things that would stop you from visiting?” It made me chuckle a little. Everytime she mentions it, I write back that I would visit if I was able to…I guess this time I will have to explain a little more. I have been planning to visit her for a while, I just haven’t had a clearing to set a date for it yet. It’s like she senses everytime I get close to saying “To heck with complications, I’m goingto Haiti right now!” I’m going to love surprising her someday, and showing up.

By: Marvin

Marvin — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 23:01:35 +0000

Rachel R
An 8 year old is very young. The first child I visited asked us to visit and she was 15 when she asked. It was a very good visit and we had a special time meeting the family.

I was on a missions trip last fall and visited our 8 year old child. At 8 years old she was a little young to understand the visit. I had a good time meeting the staff at the project and the case worker that writes the letters for our sponsord child. We had a better visit with the child that asked. Being older she really understood the value of the visit. With a younger child a sponsor tour is better than a personal visit. But at that age they may or may not really understand the visit. I would not make a special trip to visit a child until they are 10 or 12. But if it’s a sponsor tour or a missions trip to the same country go for it the trip will change your life