September 17, 2008 was the day the staff of Compassion Togo (CIT) had prepared fervently for, and the excitement had reached its peak. As Compassion’s newest country, the staff began registering children in Compassion Togo’s first child development center.

At MESA (Ministères Evangeliques pour le Salut des Armes), the partner church for Togo’s first Compassion children, Pastor Happy and his entire congregation are enthusiastically helping CIT become deeply rooted in Togo.

“We want to equip the local churches so they can minister to their community holistically and win them to Christ. We want to help the church turn their community into a place of hope for the future,” says CIT Country Director Mawuna Lawson.

The first child registered in Togo was David. The second was his sister, Gracia. When asked what he hopes to be when he grows up, the quiet David whispers “a carpenter.”

Even though it was the first registration, errors and omissions were few. CIT has set a goal to register more than 2,000 children the first year. There are currently 10 partner churches and six staff members in the county. Compassion Togo faces a steep road, but the hard work already done and the passion displayed in the ministry make it clear that much should be expected from the new Compassion country.

Another pastor shares his joy,

“We have been asking God how better we can help our children grow up and become good Christians and responsible adults, occupying good positions in our country; it has always been a burden on our heart. So when CIT came, we knew they were God sent, we didn’t need to ask how, when or why they came, all we needed to do was to thank God and to embrace the task he had laid ahead for us to do together with CIT.”

Photo by Delanyo Tenge

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Curtis Fletcher informed me before I left on Thursday that he would be attending the entire cabinet meeting as a representative for Rick Davis and would be presenting the proposal on my behalf. Curtis also said he wouldn’t be able to let me know how the presentation went until the meeting was completely over. Needless to say, I was a bit restless from noon to three when he finally called.

“Hello?”

“So, do you want the good news or the bad news?”

“Bad news first.”

“Everyone was there except for a woman that we need for a unanimous decision.”

I stared at myself blankly in the mirror, and cocked my head to one side. Not bad, I thought. I had prepared myself for the worst.

“And the good news?” I asked with eyes closed.

“They love it and want to do it. Now. They fully approve and are ready to put the proposal into motion.”

I couldn’t bring myself to respond right away. I was shocked, overjoyed, and overwhelmed at the news.

“Oh my word… Thank you… I… huh, oh my goodness… Really? This is amazing. I mean, it’s unbelievable.” I continued to hem and haw, stammer, and fumble over what to say.

“We’ll have some meetings when you get back to start putting together a plan of action for Phase I. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

I hung up my phone and, with the help of a close friend, did what any girl would do in my case… jumped up and down and squealed at decibels only dogs can hear.

The rest of the weekend was a beautiful blur of wedding bliss, reunited friends reminiscing about years past, and coffee in the kitchen at sunrise with my grandparents.

In all honesty, I know of no other way to describe it than to say it was romantic. I felt completely swept off my feet; I saw my home in an entirely new light; an ever-present safe haven, a constant refuge and always open door.

While there, I had my Bible with me, in my purse, but I never actually read it.

I wonder how many others, like myself, read it out of habit or obligation because we feel and think that if we don’t, if we miss one day, the presence, blessing, and power of Christ lifts from above us and we suddenly become exposed to the elements.

I say that to say this: in the unintentional event of not reading my Bible, I felt the Lord come closer. I felt His breath on my skin in the gentle breeze in the early morning. I heard His voice in the laughter of my closest friends; I saw His love in the exchanging of vows at the altar.I saw His beauty and majesty in the colors of the Hill Country sunsets. And I was overtaken; completely and utterly intoxicated with His glory and goodness.

This is what I believe He showed me through all of these simple, subtle blessings.

To read His Word is power and life, yes. But to sit with Him in the stillness; to quietly rest on the peace and security of home; to release the burden and bondage of rules and regulations that come with “Christian instruction manual” not found in the back of the Bible, to let God be God …there is life and power in that too. My effort no longer dilutes His work; my agenda no longer disrupts His plan. And I am freed.

And so, over 700 miles away from work, completely powerless to affect the presentation one way of the other, I waited in the precious presence of my friend and we talked about her.

I am by no means a veteran of the selfless heart, but the moments in which the Lord has allowed me to experience the sweet freedom from self have been some of the most peaceful times in my heart and mind.

I thank you, dear reader, for companionship on this journey; for your prayers, encouragement, love and support. The page is turning now, but the story is only beginning. And I want you to be a part of it. Walk with me please; the road is long and narrow and I’ll need a hand.

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After a number of revisions, I presented the business case to Rick Davis, the head of the marketing department. Remember him? His approval and support is crucial . . . and we have it.

The meeting went well; questions had answers, investment costs were justified, and the next steps head forward. Forward to another conference room in front of the child sponsorship program cabinet.

This process may seem as though it’s being drawn out, but in fact, I’m encouraged. I’m at the final step — a presentation to the decision makers from throughout the company who determine how resources are allocated in regards to our country staff and the child sponsorship program.

There’s a glitch though.

The presentation is October 10 at noon. And on October 10 at noon I will be back in Texas helping my friend stay calm and sane before she walks the aisle of matrimony the next morning.

Ironic? Possibly. But probably not. The Lord apparently has something else in mind.

Believe it or not, I’m not upset that I can’t present — I don’t have the right to be that selfish. The creation of the campaign and the progress I have made thus far have all been outside of my own ability or direction anyway. No reason to claim it now. If anything, getting to see it unfold, to witness God move how He wants, when He wants, is more fun.

Knowing that its success is wholly dependent on the Lord’s will and allowance assures me that I can rest confidently in the project’s achievement. No matter when that may be.

In other news, I heard back from HR about the position that I applied for. They gave it to another girl they felt was better qualified. It is an awesome answer to prayers. Let me tell you why.

Thursday, the day before, I was talking with Curtis Fletcher, and I told him that I had applied for the job. He looked at me and asked, “Do you really want that job?”

“Yes.” I replied. “I think I could do it, and I think it would be a good learning experience.”

Apparently I am not very convincing because he looked at me and repeated his question and sure enough I had a different answer. “Sure . . . maybe. I don’t know.”

Friday morning, as I sat in my car in the parking lot, I prayed that the Lord would make it apparent what He would have me to do. I asked Him to speak loud and clear, and to tell me in some form or fashion if I were to accept the position if it was offered.

I know myself pretty well, and I knew that if I were offered the position, even if it wasn’t what I wanted, I would accept out of fear of security and longevity here at Compassion.

I got out of my car, made my way to my office, and answered a phone call about an hour later. “We have given the position to someone else.”

Pretty clear, wouldn’t you say? I’m grateful I didn’t have to come to that conclusion on my own, either. I’m terribly indecisive.

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Last week was quite the whirlwind. But oh the productivity! Let me just tell you, we’re moving forward! As you may remember, after delivering the business proposal at the end of my internship, I was asked to write up a business case. For all intents and purposes, the business case is simply a shorter, more-to-the-point version of the proposal that will be delivered to the higher-ups for approval and funding.

I can hardly believe it, but I think it’s going to happen. My idea may be funded. Thanks to your prayers. Special thanks and recognition go out to a gentleman by the name of Curtis Fletcher. I met him last week when Chris set up a 90 minute meeting with him to get his insight and opinion on the business case.

When I walked into the conference room he was already there, nearly ten minutes early, reading/highlighting/taking notes on the draft of the case that I had e-mailed him.

He is every bit of 6 feet, 4 inches, probably taller. He has the build of professional football player: broad, thick, and intimidating. When I walked in, he peered over his glasses with big blue eyes and said “Hello.”

Shockingly, his voice was soft and kind, and a smile broke the concentrated look on his face. Suddenly I felt a little less small.

The meeting went very well. He works closely with those to whom I am writing, and his vantage point helped to enlighten my approach. Finally, I had some clarity on what to say and how to say it.

The biggest answer to prayer came when, at the end of the meeting, Mr. Fletcher offered to help redraft it. “My door is open. Whatever you need, I’ll help you.”

I wish you could have been there because I have a feeling my face said it all. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember what I felt. Sweet relief.

With a clarified direction, and the assistance of someone who knows what he is doing, I had a surge of excitement and inspiration. Back to the drawing board I went the next morning and into his office shortly thereafter.

Sure enough, his door was open and his welcome was warm. After some impromptu meetings and even more e-mails, the draft is complete and will be on its way to . . . I-don’t-know-who, tomorrow.

Needless to say, last week was the encouragement that I needed. Call me crazy, but sometimes my faith dwindles when there seems to be a stagnant or presumably idle period of time when, despite work, there is no progress. Can anyone relate? Anyone? Bueller?

Praise report: My “on-call” status has been renewed until the end of October! I am so grateful for the opportunity to stay on board here and to continue working on the campaign. Thank you for your prayers, as I know many of you have kept me in mind. It means the world to me, and I am truly thankful.

Prayer request: I recently had two interviews (for the same position) within the marketing department. I interviewed for the “Advocates Network Assistant” position. I’m excited about the potential and think that it is a position that I would both enjoy and be good at. I was the first of five interviewees. I should know by the end of this week if I get it.

No matter what, I know God is in control and that His plan, whether I see it or not, is good and perfect. He is sovereign, He is faithful, and He is the perfect provider. I am learning to rest in Him, trust in Him, and above all else, abide in Him.

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When those with nothing are given enough, they will give back to those who have nothing. This is a foundational belief of Compassion as an organization, and nowhere does it resonate deeper than in South Korea, which is unique as a partner country because of its former status as Compassion’s original field country.

Compassion South Korea CEO Justin Suh articulates that, “As Koreans who got help from the outside world in the past, it is time for us to give to the other side of the world.”

Not only do they give back to the world, but they have a few lessons to teach about engaging communities in the fight against poverty.

This June marked Compassion South Korea’s third annual photo exhibition. The purpose of this year’s exhibit was to thank sponsors and donors for their commitment to the ministry. An array of pictures was displayed highlighting the impact a one-on-one relationship with a sponsor has on a child living in poverty.

Compassion South Korea staff explained that their photographer, Hur-ho, from South Korea’s advocacy network Friends of Compassion, “captured the ordinary lives of the sponsors in a positive light,” demonstrating that sponsorship is for anyone that believes in the importance of children, not just for the elite and religious few.

The photo exhibition was not only a creative and original way to promote Compassion but also succeeded incredibly in gaining public support, resulting in 1,400 new sponsorships! It occurred at an opportune time, just days after Compassion South Korea was featured in a documentary by the National Broadcasting Channel that raised 4,000 additional sponsorships.

Given these numbers, it is no surprise that Compassion South Korea grew in sponsorship by 74.7 percent in the last fiscal year.

Events like this add to the astronomical growth that South Korea has been experiencing. Justin Suh expressed about the photo exhibition that “We would like to thank the Lord for the blessings,” he said. “The staff of Compassion South Korea was busy, yet we were grateful for being able to experience the miracle that God has made possible.”

The Korean office continually demonstrates a driven attitude and strong work ethic which allows them to impact more children around the world each day. Another explanation for Compassion South Korea’s tremendous growth brings us back to its history.

The apostle Paul speaks of their attitude in 1 Corinthians 1.28-29, “He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things — and the things that are not — to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” (NIV)

South Korea received God’s grace and love through Compassion years ago, and the last thing they are doing now is boasting. The effort Compassion South Korea put into the photo exhibition and the extent to which God blessed it reiterate Paul’s words and Compassion’s belief that when grace is extended and received, it is returned in kind.

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I was reading through chapter three this morning and came across something that gave me a hope and excitement about the future that I have really been praying for. Starting in verse nine, he is recalling that during the time of Moses, the law, which was death, was considered glorious because it was from God. But now, the law has been abolished, and grace, which is life, has replaced it.

In verse ten he says,

“…What once had glory has come to have no glory because of the glory that surpasses it (emphasis mine). For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, how much more will what is permanent have glory.” (ESV)

As you know, my internship at Compassion has ended and I am still here (praise the Lord) working as a temp in hopes of being hired on full time. The internship was to me, very glorious. It was a six week period of my life filled with the realization of God’s goodness, provision, and sovereignty in ways that I had not seen or known.

While I still work here and am grateful to do so, there is a strange sense of reality and life that has suddenly set in. I have recently moved into my first apartment, am paying my own bills, and this feeling of independence that I have longed for and strived to attain is now creating in me a greater desire to be dependent again.

I think that’s the point. Not to say that everything you thought you wanted in life will disappoint, but those things that we counted as glorious will, in fact, pale in comparison to what the Lord has prepared for those who love Him. As He progressively sanctifies us and makes us more like Himself, the greatness of the former glories will dim and the places that He will take us in the future will be even more glorious.

The thing about “glories” is that they come in between waves of seeming stillness. For example, I recently applied for a waitressing position at PF Chang’s. I am one of only two people I know that loves to serve at restaurants. Since I’m new to the area, I thought it would be a great way to stay busy, meet people, and earn a little extra money. I have quite a bit of experience and felt confident that when I walked in a few weeks ago, I would be training by the end of the week.

Two weeks and four interviews later, Corporate has put the restaurant on a “hiring freeze” because September is their slowest month. Bad timing. Stillness.

I have also continued applying at Compassion for any and every position for which I qualify. The response … *crickets chirping* Silence. Stillness. And so I continue to wait.

As I am waiting, I am working on a number of different assignments. For starters, I was asked to sift through hundreds of pictures and video clips dealing with the Global Food Crisis and to come up with a creative way in which to use them to communicate the depth of the problem.

Due to some unexpected technical difficulties and unfortunate time delays, I am now about a week and half behind. More stillness.

After a great “next steps” meeting with the head of marketing, I have been asked to write a more formal and “buttoned-up” business case for the my campaign idea to quantify the benefits and cost. This is what the decision-makers will use to say “go” or “no go.” Potential stillness.

It only makes sense that there must be times of stillness, even silence, perhaps in order for there to be times of proper praise, worship, and gratitude. If we have nothing to compare our former glories to, we would begin to think of our God as small and limited. In His wisdom, He reveals to us glimpses into His splendor, satisfying us only so much as to feed the yearning and desire of our heart to want more.

So, while I work and wait, and wait and work, I feel the Spirit building up within me a hope for a future glory. My hope and prayer for you, no matter where you are or what you are doing, is that you would also come to know and feel that God is preparing to show you another measure of His glory so that you would be refreshed and satisfied. But only for a little while.

The God of the universe loves us too much to let us settle for what we can see and understand. What a greater love though, that would continue, daily, to romance us and to lead us to a secret place, filled with greater glory than we can begin to comprehend. This is our God: the romancer of our spirits and the lover of our souls. Be swept away, won’t you?

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On August 14 I gave a presentation for “the proposal” I worked on during my internship. By the grace of God, it was received very well. Various department heads were there, including the marketing director himself, and they all liked the idea. A lot. In fact, they liked it so much, the first question was “What are our next steps?”

I was speechless.

My supervisor, Chris Giovagnoni, filled in my silence. “Uhhh …”

Good call Chris. Way to cover.

Shortly after the presentation, I debriefed with Chris. What he then told me only led to yet another level of amazement and surprise.

How would you feel about working with us for another six weeks? You’d be doing different stuff since you completed your internship project, but you’d still be involved with the ‘next step’ discussions. And we’d buy you some time, free of the ‘what do I do now’ question, as Human Resources considers all the candidates for the positions you’ve applied for.”

“Uhhh, yes.”

Let me paint a picture for you.

The night before, I was lying on my back on the floor of my room in tears as I spoke with my mom about my doubt and fears for the future.

“What if I am not supposed to be in Colorado or with Compassion at all?” I sobbed.

“What if my time here is done? Where will I go now? How am I supposed to know what to do?”

God was in control and His timing was perfect … yet again. He made it clear where He wanted me and what He wanted me to be doing the next day, the day of the internship graduation.

Would I have been better off knowing I would be staying days or even weeks before? Not necessarily.

The only thing that would have changed would have been my desperate dependence on Him. I would have begun to take over control of the next steps and, if memory serves me right, I typically screw things up.

So what seemed to be hard and uncomfortable test of faith was actually the Lord’s way of saving me from myself in the long run. It has painted for me a more real and tangible picture of His grace.

So here I sit; in my same cube at my same desk, happy as a lark.

*Furrowed brow*

What is a lark and why is it happy?

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Despite the fact that there are only three days left in this work week, it feels as though there is two weeks worth of work to be done. I will be putting the finishing touches on the proposal today and will be presenting it to the marketing “big-wigs” on Thursday.

The presentation is weighing heavily on my mind for a number of different reasons. For starters, it will be the first, and potentially only, chance that I have in front of such an influential audience here at Compassion.

Secondly, I simply want to do well. This project is close to my heart and I want to do it justice. I don’t just want to sell it. I want to inspire my audience to feel as passionately about it as I do and see the vision that I have for it. I don’t want them to merely associate this proposal with “the intern’s project,” but instead I want them to think that “this is where Compassion could go; this is what Compassion should do.”

While there are other matters that seem to float aimlessly around in my thoughts, the most important and imperative at the moment is the question of my immediate future. I have applied for several positions here at Compassion, but as of today, have yet to hear back. And waiting patiently is not my forte.

As is usually the case, the Lord revealed a scripture to me last week that has brought some much needed comfort and strength. In Isaiah 43:18-19 it says “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! … I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (NIV).

I don’t think we give God enough credit for being creative in terms of humor. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, while driving towards Denver, I made the comment to my friends that the terrain of Colorado was surprising in that it was much dryer and less lush than I envisioned it to be.

“That’s because this is desert land,” Molly said.

“But there are mountains,” I replied.

She half laughed. “There can still be mountains in desert lands,” she informed me kindly.

Not to be completely outsmarted, I Googled “Colorado topography” later that evening. Sure enough, the entire eastern portion of the state lies within the borders of the “great plains,” a large, high-plains region known for its dry, arid climate and lack-luster vegetation.

So what does Colorado topography have to do with my future?

In case you haven’t seen the weather channel, it has been raining here for the past week straight. This desert land has been recently refreshed. Standing water can been seen in the deep ravines by the highways, an uncommon occurrence here, especially during this time of year.

In the same way that the Lord rains down life and renewal to the earth in its time of need, so too does He promise to reign down the blessing of His perfect provision in our time of need as well.

I don’t know what door He will open in the coming weeks. I don’t know where He will lead me to work or what He will lead me to do. But I do know that in the midst of my Moses-like desert experience, He will bring forth water from the rocks and manna from the heaven.

In church this past Sunday, my pastor finished a sermons series on the twenty-third chapter of Psalms. In the last verse, David says that “surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life” (ESV).

The terms “goodness” and “mercy” will all mean different things to different people based upon their circumstances and what the Lord wants to show them individually. However, the universal message is this: surely they will come to all of us. Surely, Will, and All. Three big words. One big promise.

For those who have journeyed with me, thank you. I will continue to keep you posted on how things are going. Your company, comments, and words of encouragement have brought peace, joy, and hope that I can not begin to describe. My hope is that you continue to walk with Him, seek Him, and know Him more everyday. And if you find yourself in the desert one day, I pray that He would grant you the strength of faith to wait patiently for the rain.

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As of about a week ago, I think I have finally got my hands around something solid. Now, the fun and creative part is over and the nitty-gritty, detail heavy part is looming.

In all honesty, it’s wearing me out. I’m not a detail-oriented person. I like to look at the big picture. And it’s in the details that I get lost, feel inadequate, and am ready to toss it to the wind or pass it off to someone else. After all, I’m just the intern.

But I read something yesterday that revitalized my efforts and has given me a hope about the future of this project. Donald Miller, the author of Blue Like Jazz, was recounting a conversation that he had with a friend about how they came to Christ and were saved. His friend made the statement that it “just happened.”

It seemed as though it was completely out of his control. It was unavoidable and yet untraceable. He was looking for something; he just didn’t know God was looking for him.

As random and unexplainable as his search was, he found himself in church one Sunday and as the pastor made the altar call, he was compelled to walk the straight and narrow aisle without reservation. And that was it. He was a child of the King freed from guilt, shame, condemnation and death; given abundant life. He’s a pastor now.

God knows what he wants. He wants us, the way a groom longs for his bride. Isaiah 62:5 says that “As a man rejoices over his new wife, so the Lord rejoiced over you.” But there is more to it than that.

He has a plan and purpose for each of us. He has prepared good works in advance that we are to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). And this is what gets me excited. As inadequate as I feel when I work on this proposal, I know that if it is the Lord’s will, He will accomplish it; He will bring it to fruition no matter who, what, when or where. It is not dependent upon my ability or effort.

More than that, our salvation (how great, how strong, and how fruitful) is determined by the Lord as He grows us, stretches us, teaches us, and equips us. I don’t know about you, but often times I try in my own strength to be some sort of “super-Christian.” The thing is, this effort leads to an inward focus and eventual disappointment because I never get it right. But I am learning that when I let go and let God, my eyes turn upward and its no longer me striving but God refining.

It’s messy, but beautiful. It’s not easy but it’s necessary. I’m not always happy, but I have joy. I’m not strong enough most days, which is perfect, so that God’s power might be seen and He might be glorified.

All that to say, this proposal may not be the best written document Compassion has ever seen, because I am not the best writer Compassion has ever had. But God’s penmanship, His will, is greater than all of this.

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Just crossing the finish line of Colorado’s U.S. Trail National Championship June 29 in Steamboat Springs was quite a feat on its own. Winning an age-group division in this 12-kilometer race was even more of an accomplishment. But what really qualifies Tim Smith as a champion is succeeding in all this with a symbol plastered across his chest to represent the millions of impoverished children around the world.

Tim is a Mail Services Specialist at the Global Ministry Center (GMC) in Colorado. As he says, he is “deeply passionate about and committed to our work … to release children from poverty in Jesus’ name.”

Tim is a prolific runner and runs as passionately as he works. He approaches both his job and his races with fervor because in his mind these two worlds are not isolated.

The U.S. Trail National Championship was the 10th race he competed in since March 2007 while wearing his jersey and representing Compassion — clearly Tim utilizes running as an opportunity to speak up for children living in the bondage of poverty.

How many eyes saw his Compassion jersey as he warmed up, raced and recovered?

How many individuals wondered about Compassion or for the first time considered the harsh reality of poverty that affects so many today?

Neither Tim nor anyone else may ever know the results of his choice to race in that jersey. All Tim can stand on is that we are all called to “seek justice,” “encourage the oppressed,” and “defend the cause of the fatherless” (Isaiah 1:17) in every area of life. The results are not our responsibility.

Tim’s grass-roots advocacy captures the core of Compassion’s desire: to break hearts for the poor in a way that permeates who we are and causes us constantly to remember the voiceless.

Not only that, but as Tim explains, “I wear the Compassion shirt because my desire is to honor Compassion and the ministry. … I use the shirt as a platform upon which I can witness to other athletes that I come in contact with.”

Not only could his jersey cause people to consider the poor, but it presents an opportunity for Tim to share with other runners the purpose Christ has given his life. Wearing a Compassion shirt is a simple act, but God uses nonglamorous obedience to further His kingdom.

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