Anger. That’s the word I’d use to sum up my year. It’s been a year of battles. Battling my wife. Battling myself. Battling God.

It’s a good thing for us that the battleground is a fertile place for God’s love in our lives.

In 2011, my anger ruled me more than I care to admit. I often felt helpless to control it, to rise above it. I felt like a beast. Primal. At times predator. At times preyed upon.

In January, when I wrote my annual blog post about prayerfully choosing one word to define the upcoming year, I felt encouraged by the word given to me by the Holy Spirit: closer.

I thought the word was a promise of deeper intimacy with Jesus. I hoped the word signaled the end of my depression. But that was me overlooking the layers in God’s Word, the complexity within the simplicity.

Even though the year is drawing down and closer is tied to 2011, it’s not a tie that immobilizes; it’s a tie that connects. The words we get each year are foundational words. They build the altar upon which we worship Christ, in word and action. They have relevance every year of our lives.

• Obedience
• Relationships
• Reconciliation
• Growth
• Shine
• Closer

I will continue to be shaped by closer, beyond December 31. It’s now a part of my name.

Even if we don’t experience the fullness of our word each year, at least in the ways we expect to, the year isn’t a failure. We aren’t failures.

I dare say we never will experience the fullness of this annual discipline as long as we assume the discipline is about us receiving something rather than about receiving someone — about receiving Jesus.

• How did 2011 turn out for you?
• What was your word for 2011, and what word has the Holy Spirit bestowed upon you for 2012?

Please take the time to let me know.

Prayerfully choosing one word that embodies the promise of the upcoming year is a discipline I picked up from Dan Britton, the executive vice president of ministry programs at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

I’ve chosen one word each year since 2006 and have been encouraging sponsors to join me in the practice since 2008.

For 2012, my word is thanksgiving.

For important points to consider before beginning this spiritual discipline read Dan’s essay, One Word.

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This is a discipline I picked up from Dan Britton, the Executive Vice President of Ministry Programs at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I’ve chosen one word each year since 2006, but this year, I decided to skip it.

I’m pretty far from God right now. I’m clinically depressed, and my beliefs have gotten disconnected from my behavior.

I’m not doubting or questioning anything about Christ, I’m just not moving forward with Him. I’m mired in emotional and spiritual temper tantrums. So, in spite, I decided not to pick a word for 2011 and not to write a post … until God sent me an e-mail, via a co-worker.

My co-worker, Patrick, told me about the word he’d chosen for 2010 and the experience he had relating to God with the word in the forefront of his mind.

To me, that was God saying,

“I’m here. I care. Let me show you something.”

I felt convicted … and selfish, because the discipline of choosing one word as a theme for the year isn’t about me and how I’m feeling. It’s about Jesus. And it’s about each of our relationships with Him.

Patrick says that choosing one word for 2010 was “one of the best things [he] decided to do with [his] life up to this point.” And I usually say the same thing, except the words the Lord has given me NEVER play out like I expect them to.

Last year, my word was shine, and I was excited about it, particularly since the previous year my word was growth.

One word sounds painful and difficult, while the other word suggests promise and harvest. But the truth is, the words are similar to one another. They’re not gifts, they’re complex calls to action.

The words the Holy Spirit shares with us require us to “step up.” This discipline is not something to do on a lark because it sounds fun. It requires a commitment. It’s something that requires you to lean into the Lord and to step up and assume responsibility for the talents He has given you. I did not do that in 2010.

I sat back and waited for my harvest. And I did experience a harvest in many ways. The most significant being the birth of my first daughter, Cara (Beloved). But with the harvest comes work and for me to truly shine I need to step up and keep stepping up.

The words we get now are the foundation for the words we get in the future; they rest atop one another, strengthening our faith, defining our walk with Jesus and serving as snapshots of points in our lives.

For me, my brief walk with Jesus has been upon these words.

Obedience.
Relationships.
Reconciliation.
Growth.
Shine.
And now, Closer.

What is your word for 2011?

• Read Dan’s document, One Word, for suggestions that will help you with this spiritual discipline.

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How much of your prayer life, your conversations with God, is about you? You talking. What you want or need. What you think should happen.

When you’re listening, are you interested in what’s on God’s mind? Or are you really just listening for God to talk about the subjects you choose?

I mostly talk at God. That’s a 99-percent most. God usually can’t get a word in edgewise in “our” conversations. I’m talking. And I’m talking about what I need and what I want, as if they are somehow different, and as if I know better than God what I need.

“Hey God. I’m not interested in that subject. Why do you keep bringing it up?”

But once a year, at the beginning of December, I make an extra effort to get over myself. I ask God, “What do you have planned for us next year?”

It’s like asking your father, “Hey, Dad! What are we going to do this weekend?”

2010 in One Word

So, even though I’m not your father, you should do this:

Ask the Holy Spirit what He has in store for you in 2010. Ask Him to give you a one-word theme for the upcoming year. Not a phrase, not a statement, just a single word.

That last sentence is more for you than for the Holy Spirit. He knows what’s going on.

But this is for you – One Word. It’s a document for you to download, written by Dan Britton, Senior Vice President of Ministry Programs for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

One Word contains suggestions to help you make this “one word” thing a spiritual discipline rather than some nifty hoot of an idea that will quickly fade away like a worn out New Year’s resolution.

This practice of asking God for His yearly theme in my life gives me strength in the tough times. It renews my spirit, giving me a sense of purpose when I feel hopeless, annoyed, angry, afraid … anything but in control and confident.

It helps me stay connected with Christ and His plans for me throughout the year. Not perfectly, but definitely in times I probably would not.

Every year, with a little prayer time, I have found God eager to tell me what He has in store for me in the following year.

Remember this, and I can’t emphasize it enough, you’re not choosing a word. The Holy Spirit is giving it to you.

In 2009, the Holy Spirit laid the growth card on me. And when I told you about it last December, I said it sounded painful.

Well, 2009 wasn’t really painful. But it wasn’t easy either. I got to grow through a lot of old habits and immaturity.

And even though 2009 is almost over, the growth isn’t. The words the Holy Spirit shares with us each year establish the foundation for the words we get in the future, which means I’m going to be growing the rest of my life. Duh!

For me, 2009 was a year to begin getting beyond my “only child” behavior, which tells people the world revolves around me and they should wise up, stop resisting and get with the program.

It seems I’ve made a little progress, because for next year God’s word to me is:

SHINE

It sounds promising.

In case you’re curious, before I was promoted to lessons on growth, the Holy Spirit gave me lessons on obedience (2006), relationships (2007) and reconciliation (2008).

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“Seven years ago, I started the simple discipline of picking a one-word theme for the upcoming year. That is right — one word. Not a phrase, not a statement, just a single word. And to this point, it has been nothing short of life-changing.”

That’s a quote from Dan Britton, senior vice president of ministry advancement with Fellowship of Christian Athletes. And I can vouch for what he said.

I’ve been part of the annual one word posse for a few years, although I don’t know Dan, and have been amazed by how the Lord has used it in my life.

I surrendered my life to Christ in 2005, and the following year was all about obedience. That was my one word. Take ownership of the commitment I made. Surrender self. Be joyfully obedient and faithful to God’s will and Word. It was, and has been, positively liberating.

2006 was the year I met my birth father and his family — my family — for the first time. So, naturally, 2007 was about relationships. Not just with my birth father, but with Jesus as well — an ever-deepening relationship.

And relationships don’t occur in a vacuum, so as those relationships developed all my other relationships, at all levels, were changed. They are still being affected.

Picking a word for 2008 wasn’t a slam dunk like previous years. Lots of words came to mind, but they all seemed wrong. I prayed for a month and never felt like God helped me out. I felt like I just “picked” a word, instead of just “knowing” my word — just knowing the “rightness” of it.

Ultimately, I chose reconciliation because it speaks of harmony, compatibility, restoration, agreement and consistency — all things that are necessary in successful relationships. And, I have been uh-MAZED at how this word has affected me this year.

It turns out that according to Strengthsfinder 2.0 (a really cool book I highly recommend), my number one strength is . . . harmony.

What’s significant about this is that I wrote the phrase “it speaks of harmony, compatibility, restoration, agreement and consistency” — with the words in that order— last December. I took the Strengthsfinder 2.0 test in June.

In hindsight, I could add another word to that list: balance. As in balancing, or reconciling, the competing demands inherent throughout life and in love.

Another blessing of this practice is that these words build upon one another, allowing me to better see, feel and experience Jesus in my life well beyond the year the one word “applies” to.

For example, 2007 was about relationships. It was the year I started working at Compassion. I left my previous company after working there for 10 years — changing a relationship — and began working here. Now I’m in a position where I’m responsible for helping you feel more connected with your sponsored child, with our ministry and with each other. More relationships.

Picking one word is about picking one thing to focus on during the upcoming year. It’s not a New Year’s resolution. It’s a challenge to surrender control of our goals and ourselves and let the Lord lead.

If you get a chance, read all of Dan’s document. But don’t read it when you’re in a hurry. Read it when you have time to digest it. Then come back here and let me know what word God put on your heart for 2009.

On January 9, I’ll randomly pick five people to receive a free copy of Compassion’s 2009 calendar.

P.S. If you don’t randomly “win” a calendar, you could always consider Compassion’s photo calendar.

Oh yeah! My one word for 2009 is growth. Ugh! It sounds painful.

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