It was the middle of the night, but something was bothering me so I stayed up. Now I’m sitting here in tears. CNN just announced that the search and rescue efforts in Haiti are over.

I guess when I started sponsoring and ended up at OurCompassion ^[3], it was no accident. I know most other organizations don’t have something like this. A place where we can go and really share our feelings about what is going on in the world. A place for those of us who can see beyond our own neighborhood. Knowing there are people in the world other than those who live in Haiti who will be changed in some way by what happened there.

Some of us have made attempts to post things about Haiti, or about Compassion in general on Facebook. Most of the world doesn’t respond. Most don’t even bother to say, “Wow! It’s great ‘you’ feel that way.”

Truthfully, though, a few months ago, would I have cared? I don’t know.

The other night at work I was telling my lunch buddies about Julie’s husband and son, and their trip, and got one comment about it being sad. That was it. No one else even said anything.

I can’t even imagine what they would say if they knew I have sponsored kids in just about every corner of the Earth, and that I actually love these kids. I mentioned once about sponsoring a young girl in Africa; I thought I was talking to someone who might have an interest in it. Nope.

I have spent the last few weeks questioning “things” in life. Not life, but “things.”

I have no problem going out and buying things I need, or paying for rent, etc., but it just seems like everything else I am questioning.

Do I really, really need this? Do I need that? Or is giving a few dollars to a kid across the globe who will hopefully grow in the Lord and become a responsible adult more important?

I can’t change the world. Too old to try. Being a missionary and going to a different country was never on my list of things to do. But the kids I sponsor can go out and do that. And I can sit here and pray for the all the people who are working in Haiti and elsewhere. My prayer life, which was sad for so many years has changed so much lately.

So, I just want to thank everyone here that we can write our true feelings and concerns, and that we can cry together or rejoice together and know that people here will understand our heart because they feel exactly the same way.

Reprinted from ourcompassion.org with permission by Debbie Tovar, child sponsor and OurCompassion ^[3] member