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Who Is an Orphan?
Posted By Katy Causey On October 29, 2012 @ 3:32 am In Sponsors and Donors | 6 Comments
Africa is home to 59 million orphans. Nelson is one of them.
How exactly do we define orphan? As we follow Nelson’s journey, we will see multiple definitions of this oft-misunderstood term.
A Turn for the Worse
Meet Nelson Mandela. Not the iconic South African leader and Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, but a budding Leadership Development Program student of business at Kenyatta University, one of the leading public universities in Kenya.
Nelson is the third of five children in a family that was blessed to have both parents. Both mother and father were employed and the family lived in a suburb of Nairobi, the capital city. Nelson grew up in a loving family — until life took a sharp turn for the worse.
Nelson tells us,
“My father was attacked by thugs. He was shot and killed on his way from work.”
The loss left Nelson and his family devastated.
At this point in his life, he and his siblings were what we categorize as a single orphan.
A single orphan is defined as a child living with the loss of one parent. More specifically, Nelson was what we call a paternal orphan. If a single orphan loses his mother, he is referred to as a maternal orphan.
Life at a Standstill
Nelson recalls the early days after his father died:
“We grieved our father, but my mom was shattered and she could not come to terms with it. She slid into depression. After one month in deep depression, my mother suffered a severe stroke.”
His mom passed away, leaving her five young children in despair.
“The loss of both parents in that space of time was a big shock to us. I felt like my life had come to a standstill.”
When we think of the term orphan, we most often think of children who have lost both parents.
After their mother’s death, Nelson and his siblings moved from single orphan to the most common definition: total orphans.
Nelson’s oldest sibling faced a difficult challenge. He was now a head-of-household orphan. At only 11 years old, Nelson’s oldest brother was in charge of caring for his four younger siblings, ages 9, 7, 5 and 2.
Moving Into a New Chapter
Nelson and his siblings had to adapt quickly to their new circumstances. Their grandparents took them in, which involved a move from the city to rural, western Kenya, 400 kilometers away.
Their strength waning with age, the grandparents were not prepared to handle five grandchildren on their own.
Nelson and his siblings are examples of something fairly typical in the African culture. If both parents die and other family members are able, the family will take in the orphaned children as their own.
Nelson’s grandparents were indeed able to take them in, but due to their frail condition they were unable to provide parental-level care to Nelson and his siblings.
This introduces another type of orphan: the virtual or social orphan.
Unlike Nelson, these orphans may still have living parents. However, the parents are unable to take care of their children for one reason or another. For example, they may have deserted the family or are in jail.
No matter the label, an orphan is a child deprived of parental care and protection.
But no orphan need be outside of God’s special attention. He is the ultimate caretaker of orphans. Throughout Scripture we see His promises. In John 14:18, Jesus says,
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”
In Psalm 68, He promises that He is “a father to the fatherless.”
God did not forget Nelson and his siblings.
Fortunately for Nelson, he moved to an area where a local church partners with Compassion to run a church-based child development center. The situation at home was dire, and enrollment in the local Compassion-assisted child development center was an answer to prayer.
“I joined the Mahaya Child Development Center and the social worker there became very close to me. I developed a connection with him. I would meet him every Saturday and, after the program, we would talk about life.”
Nelson drew strength from a loving God, his courageous-but-aging grandparents, and a generous worker at his child development center who invested in him.
After his secondary-school education, Nelson was admitted to the university. Better still, after a series of interviews, he qualified to join Compassion’s Leadership Development Program.
“When I joined university, I met Mr. Kimando, one of my lecturers at the university. He openly professed his faith in Jesus. I admired him.”
Nelson approached the professor and formed a rapport with him. He is now mentored by Mr. Kimando, and also participates in a male mentorship module dubbed Boyz to Men. It is administered by Transform Kenya, an organization that seeks to equip young men with godly principles.
“My perspective about growing up into a man has reformed, especially since I did not grow up with my father. I now have a better understanding of my role as a man and a future father.”
God did not abandon Nelson the orphan. And through the care of ministry and university mentors, this young man is on pace to become a world changer.
Nelson’s story and photos compiled by Silas Irungu, Field Communications Specialist
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