Working in the Compassion USA Contact Center, I get the opportunity to help answer the questions of Compassion sponsors over the phone, via email, or online about the children they sponsor. And often there are questions about the letters sponsors receive from them.
Building a relationship through letter writing is one of the most important things you can do to offer hope to the child you sponsor. So here are a few of the questions I get from time to time. Hopefully, they’ll help you know a little about what to expect from the letters you receive while you are building that fruitful relationship.
Why can’t he read or write yet?
A few weeks ago, I talked with Roberta* who sponsors a 10-year-old boy in Burkina Faso. Roberta was confused about why the boy she sponsored was not yet able to write letters on his own and why he had to have a tutor dictate each letter for him. She felt that he should be able to write his own letters by now and thought there must be something amiss.
I explained to Roberta that, in some cases, children are not able to start school until they are registered in the Compassion program, which could be as late as age 9. School systems may also look very different there. We think of 9-year-old children in the U.S. as having at least three years of schooling and reading and writing skills. But some of the children in Compassion’s programs are just learning literacy at age 9, and many parents are also illiterate, giving their children few role models.
Sometimes we simply do not realize the incredible challenges that the children we sponsor in impoverished communities face as they seek to escape from extreme poverty. This might cause us to expect things from them that they really are not able to give to us.
Why hasn’t he answered my questions?
In many cases, when a child receives a letter from his sponsor, he takes it home to show his family, and then saves it in a “special place” because he is SO proud to have a letter! If this is the case, you might wonder why Jose has not answered you when you asked him what his favorite color was.
Letters are often written as part of a class exercise so staff can provide adequate help and attention to individual children as they write their letters. Several weeks after Jose received your letter, the staff at the student center would have scheduled a time for all the children to write letters to their sponsors. Jose may not have had the last letter with him and may not have remembered the questions you asked.
This is why if you underline or highlight your questions, the staff will copy down these questions and make sure that your children are able to answer them.
Most children in from under-resourced communities cannot imagine why anyone would be interested in how tall they are or how much they weigh. Many cultures are much more private about that type of information and children might not think that the sponsor really wants to know such information. Also, it may be considered vain to be discussing personal things about themselves.
Why isn’t there more depth in her letters?
I don’t know about you, but I can remember that as a child in school, when my teachers asked me to write thank-you letters to adults, my letters were a bit shaky. Actually, my letters probably sounded rather distant and formal. Part of that was due to the fact that I had absolutely no idea what to say to these adults, and how to say thank you for whatever they had done for me and my class at school. As I had more practice in writing letters, I know they got better and sounded less formal, forced and aloof.
Along the same lines, cultural differences may cause the letters from the child you sponsor to seem excessively pious or religious. For example, in Uganda, it is common to begin a letter with “Praise God!”
In many cases, a child’s personality will come through in his or her letters. If they are more outgoing, they might be little chatterboxes in their letters. If they are shy, maybe they will have more trouble sharing personal information than other children. In the same way, some children are more comfortable discussing their faith than others.
About four years ago, I started sponsoring a beautiful young lady named Claudia.
Little did I know, before I had sponsored Claudia, she had been sponsored by someone else. Compassion’s sponsorship program is a one-to-one sponsorship program, but sometimes sponsors come and go over the course of a child going through our program. So sweet Claudia had already been through the experience of being sponsored for four years by someone else with whom she wrote letters back and forth.
Then one day, for one reason or another, the sponsor stopped sponsoring Claudia. No wonder our relationship started off a bit distantly! Was she afraid to connect too much with me only to see me go again? I’m not sure. All I know is that it took a few years of sending faithful and loving letters of encouragement before Claudia started to open up to me a little in her letters.
Why doesn’t she tell me more about the Compassion program?
A while back, I had a tough conversation with another sponsor named Jerry.* He was frustrated with something in the letters he was receiving, or rather what was lacking. Over the course of our conversation, it became clear that Jerry had expected the letters to prove that his money was getting to where it was supposed to be, and that Compassion was operating above board. For whatever reason, the letters from the child he sponsored were not communicating that to him, and I would argue that they never could.
The child or teen you sponsor will not always be able to communicate what your sponsorship has meant to him or her and that your money is going a long way to lift he or she out of poverty. They may not have a high enough vocabulary yet to be able to communicate the significant changes they are experiencing. They may not even realize that they receive “support,” because the benefits of the program are given through their local church in the form of goods and services and not cash.
What do my letters mean?
My prayer is that you would see letter writing as a mentoring relationship. Your consistent letters of encouragement will communicate to your child, “I care about you and I want to be a part of your life.” There is power in that.
I can tell you that I have been blessed by God through my decision to be a sponsor; completely separate from anything that Claudia herself could ever give to me. Sure, it has been an absolute joy hearing her sweet jokes in her letters, her wisdom expressed, and watching her grow. I have had the amazing honor of being a part of Claudia’s growing years by loving and encouraging her through the ages of 12 to 16. She’s changed so much, and I love that I get to be a part of that!
This has all been an added blessing that could not be coaxed out of her. It is the same way that Christ gave to me. He did not love me because I would love Him back. No, while I was still lost in my sin, Christ died for me. I love and give to Claudia out of this same grace that I have experienced – without an expectation of what she will give back to me. What I do get back is an extra grace, an unexpected blessing.
*Name changed for privacy
Have more questions about the letter-writing process? Leave a comment below.
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Great article, but I was hoping for more information about what to expect from preschool-age children. I just began sponsoring a 3 1/2-year-old girl, and I’m thrilled. My hope is that, being so young, her early childhood will be that much brighter and more carefree. However, I’m wondering how the staff handle letter-writing for one so young. I imagine that to her, I’m a far-off, grown-up stranger. She knows my name, and I sent a picture, but that’s not much for a pre-schooler to connect with. Will the staff write to me instead, with stories of her activities, and maybe a few words from her? Of course I intend to keep writing and sharing, and expect that she’ll begin to be able to write on her own after a few years, but it seems it’ll be a rather one-sided conversation for a while. Any advice for situations like this?
Hi Amanda,
Thank you so much for choosing to bless this little one with sponsorship! You are absolutely correct. When you write a letter to your child, one of our tutors will sit down with her and read her the letter, and together they will write you back. Typically this will include a small drawing from your child, and then a few sentences from the tutor about what is happening in her life, with her family, etc. As you write more letters and a few years pass, I am sure she will begin to learn to write on her own. This typically happens when the kiddos are about 8-10 years old. During this time, I would encourage you to send stickers, coloring pages, and encouraging words. She will be so blessed by you no matter what you do, and for that we are so thankful! 🙂
Am muluuta Raymond Tendo Primary one 2018 a student of Dinadona Primary School Kasubi Kampala Uganda Africa looping. For sponsorship of my Education am six years old l love reading,drawing pictures,driving bicycles watching cartoons and other
I started sponsoring my sweet Wubealum in September. It took my a while to sent a letter to her so now I am anxiously awaiting a response. I also sent a family gift. Will that gift go directly to her family? That was my hope. Please can you explain how family gifts are handled.
Hi Esther,
It is so wonderful to hear that you have began your relationship with Wubealem! I do see that there is a letter in process from her and you should receive that in the next few weeks, or so. In addition, thank you for your generous gift! I see that you gave these funds as a “family gift”, which means this will go toward items for the family. For processing and admin purposes, 10% of this gift will be removed but the other 90% will go directly toward purchasing the family items of need. This money will actually go directly to the church partner who will meet with the family and decide what would be the best and most wise use of these funds. From here, our staff will purchase these items and bring them back to the family. This just ensures these funds are used to their maximum potential and it also eliminates the possibility that it could be stolen. Also, you can expect a thank you letter with a picture of what was purchased with your gift roughly six months after the gift is given. (You will receive a special thank you picture anytime your gift is $60, or more).
I hope this is helpful! Have a lovely day!
We have a little boy Edgardo from the Philippines since one year and just starten a second sponsorship with little Mileydi from Bolivia. I love both – writing on the computer because it doesn’t take much time and you can send beautiful pics and also handwritten letters because I can send little gifts in them.
I love the Workshop of compassion!!
And we love our two Sponsor kids.
Edda from Vienna /Austria
We just chose our little guy to sponsor today! Love the blog. Re: sending online letter – since ours will need to be translated, will they get both our letter and pictures PLUS a translated letter? Thanks.
Hi Nancy! 🙂 i’m a former sponsored child and YES, we do received both the original and translated letters coming from our sponsors. And I’ll tell you that every letter from my sponsor is a moment of hope and encouragement. Yes, I love receiving letters from my sponsor and I believe that you child will love it as well. Keep writing to him and make your relationship deeper. Thanks for being part of the advocacy of releasing children from poverty. God bless you a thousand fold. 🙂
Hi Nanci! Welcome to Compassion! We are so excited that you have chosen to impact the life of a child in poverty through your sponsorship! Your little guy will receive both your original letter and photos as well as the translation. 🙂
Thanks! And also, how does writing online compare to writing letters by hand? Is it faster? Can the child respond?
Hi Sophia! Letters written online will still take 2-3 months to reach your child but yes, your child will still be able to respond! 🙂 When you type out an online letter, we will print it out in our office in Colorado and mail it with the rest of the hand written letters. We want your child to still be able to take home a tangible letter to show their families and put in a special place. Your child will still write a hand written letter back to you :).
It says I will receive at least 2 letters a year from my sponsored child, how many could I get at most usually?
Hi Sophia! I’m sorry for the confusion! You will receive a minimum of two letters and up to six reply letters a year if you write regularly to your child.
Thanks for that information. I was beginning to feel that the translator was just sending a form letter as it sounded the same month after month. I’d love to know what experiences my children have that made an impression on them, or, what sorts of stories they learned of in Church? It seems no matter what questions I ask I always get the same standard replies about their grades and school work.
I see now, that it’s difficult for them to communicate the depth of their feelings and it isn’t something they know how to express.
I continue to tell them all the things I’m planning to do in the garden this Spring and how I’m so happy to have adopted another dog. Whatever things I think will tell them more about me.
As one person said, it’s not what I’m getting out of it but what I’m giving to someone else that matters.
I did wonder if it was okay to tell them how much I love them? I didn’t want to encroach on their mother or father’s position so I didn’t start doing that until maybe 6 months into our exchanges. The truth is that I do love them very much and wish I could visit all three of them!! I don’t see that I’d be financially able to but 2 of them tell me how much they would love to meet me. Perhaps I could continue to save here and there and one day make it happen.
Thanks for providing us with a better understanding of their situations!
My little guy was just three when we started sponsoring him. His older siblings have been helping him write to us and draw pictures. He just turned 4 and in our last letter from him he asked me if he could call me Granny. I LOVE it!
Today was a glorious day! We received our first letter from little 1 year-old Ana today that we began sponsoring in October! Of course, her mother did most of the writing, outside of the small hand-print traced on the back of the letter! Tiny little fingers!
This is the best gift we could have ever received!
God Bless!
I was wondering how or if we can find out whether our letters reach our child. I have sent several online letters to our child over the first year of sponsorship and, based upon a letter I just received from him, it doesn’t seem that he has gotten our letters. I don’t want him to feel as if we don’t care!!
Hello Nancy! I am so sorry if it does not seem as if Joao is receiving your letters :(. I know it can get discouraging if he is not responding to questions you may ask him in previous letters. I want to encourage you that Joao receives every kind word and sticker that you send to him and after reviewing your account, I see that he has received 5 letters from you so far! Thank you so much for sending him love and encouragement as we frequently pray for sponsor’s that write as often as you and your family!
Because letters take 2-3 months to be delivered both ways, it takes a little while for the children to catch up to responding to your initial letters in the first year. I would encourage you to try highlighting and numbering any questions you have for him in future letters. This helps your boy and our staff to remember to address those points in his next letter to you. Otherwise, on letter writing day at the project, if he left your letter at home, he may not remember the specific questions that you asked. My prayer is that over the next several years you will build a strong bond with your child :). Each letter you send, feeds hope and love into your boy that boosts his confidence and tears down the lies that poverty has been telling him all of his life. We appreciate the time and energy you put into your relationship with him!
As a new sponsor I found this blog very inciteful and encouraging. Thank you!
Thanks, Emily!
I am enjoying exploring this blog so much! This is just one of many posts that have given me some great letter writing inspiration. I was wondering, though – is writing a letter to my sponsorship child through the online letter writing system just as good as handwriting one? Is it printed out for her so that she can keep a hard copy? I really like using the online method because I can choose a cute template to go with my letter and there are three spaces for pictures. However, it is important to me that she have something to hold on to like the other children in the program.
Hi Michelle! I am so glad you asked that question :). Yes! The letters you write online are printed out on high quality paper (so pictures that you attach look beautiful and are printed in color) and mailed to your child the same way that hand written letters are. Compassion realizes how much these kiddos treasure your letters and we also want them to have a tangible paper copy that they can take home and hang on their wall or put in a special place :). I am glad you’re enjoying the online writing tool!
I’m blessed to read this article. God bless you for a good work done.
Excellent article to help sponsors understood more about their sponsored child’s world. I have sponsored “my girl, Nina” for five years and save copies of my letters and her letters in a notebook. I, also, include any pictures of her that I receive. It brings me great joy to look through the years of letters!
Susan, this is an incredible post filled with information that will help a lot of sponsors understand the letter writing process.
You’re so sweet. 🙂 Thanks, Yvonne!