Tag: Isaiah

Death of a Child

I still haven’t figured out a great way to mourn Alfan’s death. It still makes me sad. I’m still overwhelmed by the tragedy of the death of a child. However, I cling to hope!

I Pray

As a stay-at-home mom of three girls, ages (almost) 6 and under, my To-Do lists are never ending. Yes, you read right — list(S). When I don’t get them done, which is quite frequently, I feel lazy, discouraged, and just plain ole’ not good enough.

Thankfully, I am aware that Satan is just trying to deceive me again. So I turn to the One who can get me through those feelings — God.

Sometimes those lists gets smaller, my energy goes up, and I’m not so discouraged if everything seems to not get done in time.

And sometimes it doesn’t. Boy does Satan love what happens next — I doubt myself and God. Did He hear me? Am I not good enough in the eyes of my heavenly Father? Maybe I ticked Him off (by snapping at my kids, the dogs, and my husband) and he’s giving me the silent treatment. Hmm … Perhaps I didn’t pray the right way?

Then I really start to wonder: If Satan is trying to deceive me, then you can bet he’s trying to deceive those who are truly suffering: those without food, medical attention, water, clothing, the list goes on and on.

Just a little background as to why I think this.

I have always felt that my sponsored children’s faith was stronger than mine. They have so much hope. They seem to always be positive and thankful. I figure that Satan would try to deceive those who have a stronger faith.

Why?

Because whenever something goes “wrong” for me, I start to complain:

My daughters and I had ear infections awhile back and our doctor is an hour and a half away. I complained.

Or, my husband had to work late and I had made dinner to be ready for him when he got home. I complained.

Or, “Mr. Fast and Furious” speeds past me, but I am the one who gets pulled over by the policeman for going 5 miles over the limit. I complain.

I know I should be giving thanks to God that we have a doctor, my husband has a job, I have food to prepare, I have my own mode of transportation, and that He will hold other people responsible for their actions.

It seems like even though my sponsored children are living without basic necessities, they’re so thankful for what they DO have. They know what it truly means to be without — they see God working in big ways, because they have so little.

Whereas, since I have more and live with so many more opportunities, I don’t see (or it’s harder for me to see) how God is working.

So, I pray for those who know what it is like to suffer. I pray for my sponsored children.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 54:17 – “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” I pray that my sponsored children will be protected from any weapon — sickness, hunger, thirst, violence, loneliness, discouragement, fatigue and deceit. That those weapons would crumble into dust as my Savior protects them.

After praying for THEM, my lists don’t seem all that important. In fact, my focus has, more often than not, turned toward another piece of paper, one that will contain the words to build up my sponsored children’s self-esteem and to help them battle Satan’s lies. I write my sponsored children and assure them of God’s infinite love, of how special they are, and how proud I am of them.

Interestingly enough, I find that as I write those words, God speaks to my heart as well: God loves you, He hears you, and you are His beloved.

Visit the Clarke family website.