The Counterintuitive Surprise of Generosity

My friend Mark’s daughter, Julia, is nine. For years she’d been saving money she’d receive from birthday gifts, Christmas and her weekly allowance in a small pink piggy bank. After years of saving, she had $200.

When Julia saw a handmade flyer at a local coffee shop posted by a farmer looking for loving homes for his new puppies, she begged her parents for a dog. Her parents, “dog people,” weren’t opposed to adding a member to the family.

So they decided to visit the farm to meet the puppies. When they did, they all noticed the small farmhouse and the frugal lifestyle of the farmer and his family. The family, struggling to operate a small family-owned farm, clearly did not own much.

Counterintuitive Surprise of Generosity

That evening, considering the decision, Mark and his wife had a conversation with Julia about the responsibility, hard work and discipline it would take to own a dog. They asked if she was willing to pay for the dog with her own money.

“But,” confused by the request, Julia protested, “the puppies are free.”

“Yes,” Mark affirmed, “we know. But think about all the love and care that farmer and his wife have invested into our puppy’s life already, providing food and water and a warm home to live in. And they don’t have much. Don’t you think it would be nice to give them something even though the puppies are free?”

Confident that a financial investment would help Julia understand the responsibility she was undertaking, Mark asked her to return to her room and think about how much she’d like to offer the farmer. “Just as a sign of our appreciation,” he noted.

Five minutes later Julia came bouncing down the stairs and announced with a smile, “I made my decision. I would like to give him $100 for the puppy!”

Mark, who was thinking $25 would be a nice gesture toward the farmer, was caught off guard by Julia’s generous offer. She was, after all, the saver in the family. And all he really wanted to do was provide her with a little lesson in responsibility.

“Wow,” he marveled, “That’s a really big number. Why don’t you take some more time up in your room to think about whether you really want to give up that much?”

Climbing the stairs more slowly than she’d descended them, Julia dutifully returned to her room to consider her decision.

About fifteen minutes later she returned to her dad.

A bit more sober, Julia explained, “I was thinking about what you said. While I did, I started looking around my room and thinking about this nice house and all the nice stuff we have. And I started thinking about how the farmer’s family has so little. So I’ve changed my mind about how much money I want to give them for the puppy.”

Mark was on the edge of his seat.

“Rather than $100, I want to give them all $200 in my piggy bank.”

Counterintuitive Surprise of Generosity

All That We Want For Our Children (And for Ourselves)

If you’re able to let go of all the dog food that $200 might have bought, Julia’s decision is a parent’s dream.

I imagine, after the initial gulp in his throat, Mark felt a very specific emotion: Pride. There are few moments in life more heartwarming than seeing our children practice generosity.

And pride is the perfect response in those situations. We all want our kids to find fulfillment and pursue happiness in the right places.

Study after study reports that being generous is one of the quickest paths to satisfaction. Generous people are shown to be healthier, happier and less depressed. They experience a greater sense of self-worth and life fulfillment. And generosity is appealing.

Those who give their time and money and expertise to others never regret it. They discover exactly what Julia did: a better way to live.

Of course, the same generosity that shapes children and fills their hearts with satisfaction does the same thing for adults! When we are generous with our resources, we experience a satisfaction and fulfillment in life that cannot be found anywhere else.

But in a world that works overtime convincing us to spend our money on our own self-interests, we often need to be reminded of the joy in giving. We are bombarded all day long with marketing messages promising we will be happier and more satisfied if we accumulate more and more possessions. But it’s not true. If accumulating things brought lasting happiness, don’t you think we would have found it by now?

Sometimes, it helps to go back into our rooms and quietly consider again the opportunity of generosity.

Counterintuitive Surprise of Generosity

I want to suggest six benefits to you, and I’d like you to personalize what they mean for you and your family.

If generosity is difficult for you, I want you to insert the word “women,” or “men” or “parents” into the blanks below. If generously releasing what you’ve been given comes more naturally to you, I want you to insert the word “children” in the blank, to consider what generosity can mean as you work to form the discipline into the hearts of children, yours or others.

• Generous ___________ have a healthy understanding of how much they already own.

People who give to those in need quickly realize how much they have to give.

• Generous __________ value what they own.

People who give away possessions hold their remaining possessions in higher esteem. People who give their time make better use of their time remaining. And people who donate money are less wasteful with the money left over.

• Generous __________ live happier, more fulfilled lives.

Studies have shown that generous people are generally happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life. And once they find this satisfaction through generosity, they are less inclined to search for it elsewhere.

• Generous __________ find meaning outside of their possessions.

It is the American way to wrap up self-worth in net-worth… as if a person’s true value could ever be tallied on a balance sheet. Generous people find their value in helping others and quickly realize that their bank statement says nothing about their true value.

• Generous __________ have more fulfilling relationships.

People always enjoy the company of a generous giver to the company of a selfish hoarder. People are naturally attracted toward others who have an open heart to share with others. And a good friend is the best gift you could ever give yourself.

• Generous __________ have less desire for more.

They have found fulfillment, meaning, value, and relationships outside of the acquisition of possessions. They have learned to find joy in what they already possess and give away the rest. In other words, they have found true contentment.

In contrast to what our culture has led us to believe—and yet in radical alignment with what Jesus taught about what we find when we lose our lives—generosity helps us experience what we most want and value.

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25

In very practical terms: if you’re searching for satisfaction, give something away today! When you do, you open the door for contentment and generosity to collide the way they did for one very satisfied, happy, and generous nine-year-old girl.

Joshua Becker is the author of The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. He is also the Founder and Editor of Becoming Minimalist, a website that inspires others to find more life by owning less stuff.

Counterintuitive Surprise of Generosity

7 Comments |Add a comment

  1. Dianna Burcaw December 22, 2017

    God blesses us so that we become a blessing to others. We give our hearts and lives to Jesus and then give of ourselves ; our substance to others. That’s our purpose and it becomes our blessing in return.

  2. Apurva February 28, 2017

    Very true. I have never felt truly happy in any work except doing something for someone else. It just fills you with inner joy and peace for a very long time!!! 🙂

  3. Daisy K. Campos July 22, 2016

    What a great story and very inspiring!!! I don’t have kids, but when I have I am planning on teaching them the responsibility of giving. I truly believe that we need to give if we would like to receive. If we want to be blessed, we need to be a blessing for someone. Jesus has been taken a great care of us so why not take care of His little ones with what we have.


  4. Jill Foley May 4, 2016

    Ok…as I was reading this I kept thinking, I should send this (somehow) to Joshua Becker. This sounds so much like his message.

    And then I got to the end and saw he authored this wonderful post.

  5. Lila Wiese May 4, 2016

    What joy that little girl brought to the heart of Jesus! She will learn the truth that you cannot out give God. That we would all truly KNOW that and live that way!

  6. Chris Landers May 4, 2016

    My husband and i sponsor 3 children through Compassion International & Compassion UK. It is the most rewarding thing you can do. To see a child develop in the love of Christ is fabulous. We have so much when many have so little so go ahead sponsor today you wont regret it.

  7. J.Joshua Kono May 3, 2016

    “If you cannot pack up your stuffs in less than 40 minutes, then you probably have too much.”
    Mother Teresa once said it and actually lived that maxim as a Catholic nun during her life of dedication to the Kingdome of God in slums of India.
    Generosity is listed as one of the spiritual gifts in the Pauline epistles and so often misunderstood as a voluntary act, mere virtue or act of nobility only practiced by those who can afford to do so.
    It is ultimately our choice whether to give or withhold, since we are all endowed with free will and neither our action nor abstention means anything since futile are our might, our toil and our righteous deeds in comparison with enormous necessity shared by the world.
    We are not called to complete the work, but we are not free from our duty either.
    Generosity is our obligation as well as our privilege.
    Jesus says that as much as we have done to one of the least of His brothers, we have actually done for Him.
    To love is not an option but an obligation and a continual debt, and we cannot love without giving although we can give without loving.
    The world tries to make us believe that we are wasting away our precious resources by giving away to the poor of the world whom we will always have anyway, but if we direct our hearts to heaven as we give, we will see miracles in our lives as well as in the lives of those we serve.
    Through Compassion, I’m given much more than I give so that I can continually give back to Him.

    Generosity is a finite act that leads to infinity.
    Generosity is an act of investment in eternity.
    Generosity is a way we can reveal Him who is invisible.
    Generosity is where we meet God face to face.

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