Written by: Amber Van Schooneveld
Tell me if you can relate to this: When I first started sponsoring my Compassion child, I clung so tightly to that one picture I had of him — my one lifeline into his world. OK, so I knew from his bio that he helps his mom wash dishes and loves art, but I would hold that little picture in my hands and examine every detail, trying to glean whatever information I could.
What type of shoes is he wearing? Is that a scrape on his knee? What’s that expression on his face — fear? Indifference?! The thought even crosses my mind…is he even happy I’m sponsoring him? I know there are other sponsors who feel the same way. We cling to those pictures, so excited to be a part of a child’s life, so when we see that these little ones look scared or stiff or even aloof, we can’t help but think “what’s going on here?!”
Photo day is a big day for children being registered at Compassion-assisted child development centers. In the morning, they put on their bestest outfit, hold their mom’s hand as they walk the dusty road to the project, and get ready to face the camera. This is probably the first picture that’s ever been taken of them. Many are shy and scared of the stranger taking their picture. Many aren’t used to so much individual attention being given to them. Many don’t quite know what this sponsorship thing is all about yet.
I recently saw this photo by Edwin Estioko, Communication Specialist in the Philippines. How refreshing! After the fear of that first picture, the child begins to loosen up. He interacts a bit with the smiling, accepting faces at the project; he makes a couple of new friends from his neighborhood. Look how relaxed and child-like this cutie is when he lets his guard down a bit!
Phew…So it’s not just me. It’s a new situation for these children, and their little cheeks will soon relax into chubby smiles. Imagine my delight when, after cherishing the first picture of my sponsored child who looked so tentative and unsure, I received this photo of a smiling, confident young man. And maybe, just maybe, he was thinking of me.
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May 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 am
I love this post. Thanks for the revelation and inside perspective on our “children’s” pictures!
May 3rd, 2008 at 11:43 am
Thanks for this. I too am struck by the sometimes somber expressions on the faces of my sponsored children. The first picture of our first child was so somber. He looked “too old” for 7. Too serious or something. No joy at all on his little face and it just broke my heart. The next one I got, 18 months later was so starkly different. A bigger boy for sure, but his face is what really struck me. The HUGE smile on his face, his relaxed stance and the confident eyes spoke volumes. He’s written to us many times and us to him. He never fails to thank us for our sponsorship. He says he’s so grateful, but that expression said it all. I cried when I got that second photo because it said so much to me about the impact that Compassion really has on him. He is such a beautiful boy and now his outward expression matches his inward beauty.
Beth
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Great post, Amber. It’s one of those unspoken questions I bet many sponsors have, but no one wants to verbalize for fear of sounding trivial.
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I’ve also analyzed my kids’ pictures to death. What they’re wearing… where did they get it? Did they already have it? Did they get it from the program? In later pics, was it something I gave them? I’ve wondered if the kids know ahead of time it’s picture day and wear their best intentionally or if they’re just there at the center and oh, guess what, we need your picture? I’ve analyzed the backgrounds to death too, especially when there’s a building or something to see… what is that building? Is it part of the center? or was the picture taken elsewhere? I’ve also wondered if the kids are told these pictures go to their sponsors, and for the new kids, does the picture get taken the first day they’re there?
I think it’d be really awesome if all the Compassion centers could take various shots around their grounds, or even their town/city, and have those pictures online for those with kids at that center to see, i.e., when you log in and click “project information”, if those pictures were included along with the text. It’d be so nice to get a glimpse into the world our kids live in, and would make excellent fodder for conversation too, if we asked the kids about the things we see in those pictures.
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I don’t remember Compassion’s explaining this when I first began sponsoring a child seven years ago. I’m not sure how things are done these days, but if you don’t already, I think it would be a great idea to share this information with new sponsors! It might help them better understand their children from the beginning.
May 3rd, 2008 at 7:38 pm
We’re working on getting photos from every child development center that show the church and the surrounding area and help give you a better view into your child’s life. It’s slow going though. So many priorities, so little resources, so many child development centers and many of them remote … but we are on it.
May 4th, 2008 at 8:16 am
My first *two* photos of one of my first two children showed a very serious, possibly frowning, child. If I hadn’t met her soon after the second photo arrived, I wouldn’t have known that she is, in fact, a very happy, extremely expressive girl! In person, she jabbers, sings, flits about; in my photos of her, she nearly always poses herself in some position totally unlike any that we see in the packets.
On my first trip to DR, during our visit to the country office, several other sponsors wanted to know why their children had looked so stiff. We were told that the kids tend to bounce around, so they’re told to stand like little soldiers. That may be true for some, but I, too, have seen that will-it-hurt? look on many faces.
I love the idea of pic’s from each project on the website, but I sure can imagine it will be a mammoth undertaking!
May 4th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2-4)
I can’t help but wonder about the expression on this kid’s face. I suspect he was scared to death, but in time had the sense he was in the safest place in all the world.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:54 am
You are so right, Amber. Most of these children stand in front of the camera for the first time. Not to mention they are under the hot sun while wearing shirts and trousers they don’t usually wear just so they will look their best for their sponsors. Before their turn to be photographed, they are careful not to soil themselves so they suspend their urge to run around with friends at the center. They also don’t enjoy their friends teasing and making fun of them behind the camera man.
The same happens during sponsor visits. Before the child and his sponsor meet for the first time, the child is so eager and happy and smiling and ready. He is excited to show a picture or a gift to his sponsor. But once he sees his sponsor for real — huge, white and with a big voice, the child crinkles.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Hi, Chris,
I just got what you wrote there about getting photos of all the projects. I think that is such a great idea. I have some pictures of some of the projects. If you can use them let me know!
Kees
September 11th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Kees,
Please upload the child development center photos you have to our Flickr group.
I can take a look at them there.
Be sure to clearly define what child development center is in the picture and enter a description for what the photo is showing.
March 29th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Amber thanks for sharing!!! It was also great to hear Edwin’s advice when sponsors meet their sponsor child. I remember meeting Osmari in Nicaragua I was so nervous myself. I just squatted down and handed her a stuffed lion I got her as a gift b/c she is from Leon which means Lion in spanish. I can see how God doesn’t always come at me with bolts of thunder and lightning and crashing huge boulders of burning sulfur towards me, but he could!!!
March 29th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I am reading your book “Hope Lives” and I will get to meet Olive at the Advocates Conference!!! So it is great to learn and see all of these things!!!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:13 am
The first picture of our little boy was so adorable. He had a little smile and chubby cheeks. The second picture, my family had to just laugh at. He looks mad, which is actually pretty cute. It reminded me of my grandson scowling when he is angry. It make me wonder what was going on in his little mind. What a sweetie!
April 29th, 2009 at 11:28 am
This is so true! My little Natalia’s first picture was almost depressing to look at. As cute as she is, she stood emotionless in front of the camera. However, when her second picture came in the mail shortly after, I was overjoyed to see her smile. She is precious!!
April 29th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
This was so helpful to me! I look at the picture of my Diana and she looks frightened and a bit angry. It is great to be reminded of what the photo experience was like for them and the overall trauma of it. I look forward to a happier picture of my dear Diana from Rwanda.
April 30th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Thank you so much for putting up this blog post. I have felt the same way about my Phejhay, although he is smiling a tad bit in his first picture. He is such a precious little boy.
My question is…I would love to have another picture of him but I am afraid to ask because I don’t know who pays for photographs of the children- are the families expected to provide them, or does Compassion? I don’t want to ask his family to spend money.
Any ideas?
May 1st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
When got Elias he was 17 and orphaned in an AIDS affected area. The look on his face seemed to say “I won’t get chosen.” In the second picture he had a hint of a smile. The third, he was smiling! He just turned 19 and I received a photo update. Not only has he filled out but the smile on his softened face reveals the man he is becoming. Praise be to God for the opportunity and resources to be able to show His love to a hopeless orphan. How great is our God!
May 9th, 2009 at 9:04 am
I love this post. I have often thought about the picture, but my son is the same way when he first meets people (reserved, cautious)….so I just assumed they had similar personalities!
This confirms what I thought….its an unusual day for these kids, but they are probably happy! I have been to Africa, and I have never met a sad person there!
June 6th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I also commented to my son that our family’s sponsored child looked sad or kind of mischievious and that’s what prompted me to pick him, I have a heart for boys who find themselves in trouble because of their circumstances. My son corrected me and commmented with a lot of compassion he looks hungry. I have been trying to find out as much as I can about his life and conditions so I could know how to pray for him and this prompted me to search the internet for more information about the country and particular area where he lives and I found an excellent website that has a video cam for those who can not travel to get an idea of the place where their child lives. http://www.guardian.co.uk/katine/virtualvillage. I am glad his latter picture is like everyone said much happier. It concerns me that their are many more in his situation that are not being helped. And now I know some ways to pray for him and his country.